Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (Switch): COMPLETED!

A lot has been said about how terrible the Switch version of Bloodstained is compared to the other platforms it’s available for. Low quality graphics, 30fps not 60, longer loading times, and so on. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I don’t actually care. It’s the version I wanted, and short of being broken (and it’s not) it doesn’t matter to me about the rest. And I was right, as it’s pretty much a perfect Castlevania game and I enjoyed it very much.

Not sure female rock guitarists have been a baddie in Castlevania before.

We all know it’s by Iga, so is going to be the most Castlevania game ever, but I wasn’t expecting it to be almost literally Castlevania in every way possible. Every baddie is a reskin of a classic CV foe, every character is analogous to someone from a CV game. There’s a castle, there’s a vampire, and although it’s named differently, Soma’s (from Castlevania Dawn of Sorrow) soul mechanics are here too. All it’s missing is an end boss called Dracula and Castlevania in the name.

Some sort of lab with creatures in tubes round here.

As a Castlevania game, after completing it, I felt I needed to get 100% of the map (or 100.4% or whatever it is here), but unfortunately I’ve reached 99.8% and I’m stuck as to where I haven’t opened up. I’ve resorted to checking completely unlocked maps online and comparing them with mine, and I’ve found every single hidden room shown. I’ve no idea where the remaining ones are.

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Super Mario Maker 2 (Switch): COMPLETED!

“How do you complete a game where you make your own levels?”, you may ask. Well, because there’s a pretty sizeable single player mode where Nintendo show you loads of ways you might want to make levels, by giving you a hundred or so levels to work through.

I’m always astounded at the creativity Nintendo have with Mario games. You’d have thought that every possible idea in platforming has been done now, but nope – most of these levels have a new gimmick, or at the very least, a twist on a previous one. As you complete them you gain coins, and you use these coins to rebuild Peach’s castle (for unimportant story reasons).

New items for use in your home made courses are unlocked as you go along, so there’s another reason for playing Story Mode too.

As well as completing that, I’ve also played 30 or so user-made levels, which, like the first game, vary enormously. Some are huge and complicated with puzzles or skill sections, and some are little more than items placed at random on the screen. I’ve also made a terrible, short level of my own with a toilet in it, because of course I have. The ID, if you want to play it, is 3P7-5JL-CTG.

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My Friend Pedro (Switch): COMPLETED!

If, like me, you were very much interested in My Friend Pedro off the back of its surprise showing at E3 last year, you may be a little disappointed to discover that it isn’t quite the dual-wielding slow motion ballet that presentation would have you to believe. But, you’ll realise that’s probably most likely for the best.

You see, all that is there. Jumping and spinning to avoid gunfire, and returning bullets in two directions at once is still a large part (and it is always impressive and makes you feel like a Big Man) of the game, but it isn’t as relentless as shown. There are platforming sections. Lasers to avoid. A bizarre level where you have a propellor hat so can effectively fly. A section on a motorbike. Door and trapdoor opening puzzles. Lots of things, in fact.

Also perhaps a surprise is how the game is actually geared towards score combo and high score arcade type play. On Normal mode, the game isn’t very difficult, checkpoints are frequent, and it’s very forgiving with plenty of aim assist and reminders to dodge bullets if you’d forgotten. It’s running through quickly, cleanly, and seeking out every baddie that nets you the big points, so the three or four hours length is mostly irrelevant. Now, I’m not a score chaser generally so that doesn’t really interest me, but the game is still great anyway.

Many people wondered how the dual aiming would work, worrying the game would be on-rails if the two analogue sticks were busy, but in fact it’s pretty simple – you lock on to one foe first, then you are free to target a second and can shoot both together. It works well, but it turns out that it isn’t used as frequently as you maybe thought. Indeed, later weapons aren’t even dual-wieldable.

So it might not be quite what I was expecting, or perhaps I’d say hoping for, but in fact it seems the game knew what I really actually wanted more than I did because the deviations from the original reveal videos are welcome and I suspect too much of the same thing would have made it a bit of a chore. It’s definitely recommended if you want what could be described as Olli Olli only Bulletstorm, but even if you’re not after a score attack game it’s funny and stylish and unusual enough to warrant a purchase anyway.

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Golf Peaks (Switch): COMPLETED!

Golf Peaks is a little puzzle game where you have to get the golf ball in the hole. However, unlike actual golf, you use card with distances on for your “shots”, and various surfaces act upon your ball – stop it dead, kick it in the air, make it slide, etc.

Each “world” has it’s own new gimmick across its 12 levels, and when you’ve completed at least 9 of them you move on to the next level.

It’s quite simple, both to play and in presentation, and although a handful of the levels had me thinking for some time I’ve not really struggled. It’s no Baba is You as far as the difficulty level is concerned. With 109 levels, many of which take only a few seconds, it’s not exactly long either, but it’s certainly interesting and as it’s really cheap on the eShop at the moment it’s definitely worth a purchase.

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Golden Axe III (Switch): COMPLETED!

Is Golden Axe III going to be a good game, given the previous two were not? Go on, have a guess.

At least it tried. Instead of being almost exactly the same as the other games, the graphics are all new, the animation is new, and most of the baddies are new. Reminiscent of those before, but new. There’s a different art style too, but actually, it’s worse. And there are two new characters but they’ve relegated the best one – Gillius Thunderhead – to a little less than a narrator role. You can’t play as him. I chose Tyris Flare instead, who now has ridiculous beefcake muscles.

They’ve improved the “AI” so the enemies no longer blindly walk off ledges, and for the most part the old running attack left and right “trick” isn’t possible any more. But sadly, this doesn’t really improve things. Golden Axe III is actually worse, somehow, than its predecessors.

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Pikuniku (Switch): COMPLETED!

Pikuniku is a… game best discovered for yourself. Partly because that’s genuinely true, but also because it’s a little hard to describe. Sure, I can tell you it’s a sort of platformer with puzzles and bosses, and there’s a lot of kicking things, but that’s not really describing the game.

No, the game is unusual. Both in style and content. There’s a plot about a guy who gives out free money, there’s a leaf-based underground resistance, and there’s a section where you have a beat a robot in a dance-off. Oh, and you’re a monster (except you’re not), and later on you get a hat with a hose on it so you can water things.

It doesn’t make sense when I write about it, and frankly doesn’t make much more sense when you play it, but it’s quirky and jolly and fun and if that isn’t enough to make you want to play it then you’re all sorts of wrong inside.

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The Way Remastered (Switch): COMPLETED

I’m not sure what exactly is “remastered” about this game, having no experience of the original. An original which is only a few years old itself, actually. I’m also not sure what sort of game it’s trying to be.

To look at the screenshots, it’s probably trying to channel Flashback or Blackthorne, or both. When you play it, however, it isn’t. There’s a bit of the Mega Drive Alien 3 game in there. Sure, there’s some Flashback. Some Gunpoint. Some Another World. As you move from Earth to another planet, then explore that planet, not only do the locations change graphically, byt the gameplay does too. You’re no longer a sneaky hacker – you’re a man with a gun. Only then you don’t have a gun, but you can teleport and move things with your mind instead. And then! To end it all, it’s a bullet hell shooter only you can’t shoot.

You have to stop each piston in turn so they move in a particular pattern. What is this pattern? Well, that’s why this bit was hard.

There’s platforming and puzzles. Reaction tests and timing tests. Infuriating “remember the sequence or fry” sections. Buttons to push, spikes to avoid, hoverbikes to pilot, monsters to run from, and lots more. It’s varied for sure, but that also causes a problem – it masters none of these.

Some of the puzzles are just too obscure with no clues. Some of the platforming is hit and miss as to whether you’ll grab a ledge or drop on some spikes (or sometimes, grab a ledge then drop off onto the spikes anyway because bugs). I found your shield power that you have use of for some of the game regularly failed to “initialise” so didn’t reflect enemy fire as it should, killing me. Collision detection isn’t great, so combined with wonky jumping inertia also led to many avoidable deaths. Thankfully, checkpoints are frequent so little progress is lost when you do die.

Sometimes Tincan (your tigerdog) responds to and follows you. Sometimes, he does not. Twice, he vanished completely when I needed him to progress.

The plot of the game is mostly fine – guy’s wife dies, so he goes off to find the Pyramid of Eternal Life or something to revive her, which fortuitously happens to be on the very planet his job sent him to to research. The stuff that happens along the way (aha!) is nonsense though. Magically from nowhere a bounty hunter stumbles across you? A tribe who tried to kill you start worshipping your dead wife because… well, I’m not really sure why. They also welcome your new “pet” – a massive tigerdogbeast whose parent previously terrorised them.

Issues aside, there’s an important point to make in this game’s favour: it was 89p. And for 89p there’s a lot of game here. A lot of good ideas, if a bit poorly executed. It’s definitely worth 89p. Knowing what I do now, however (and I’d gone in pretty blind), I’m glad I didn’t pay full price and I can’t recommend you do either.

Pretty sure that’s LeChuck, and it’s SUPPOSED to be LeChuck. There’s a Day of the Tentacle tentacle in this bit too. Who knows why this is.

One final question: Why is The Way Remastered rated a PEGI 16? There was nothing in there I’d consider more than a PEGI 7, so even a PEGI 12 would be overkill. Did I miss something?

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Gato Roboto (Switch): COMPLETED!

Imagine if Downwell’s graphics were applied to Super Metroid, only you were a cat? That’s Gato Roboto. How could I not buy it then complete it in one afternoon given that description?

Turns out it’s really very good too. There’s absolutely more than a few nods to Metroid (there’s one area which even has a similar layout to part of that game), but it’s a lot shorter, a lot easier, a lot weirder (cats in mech suits are just the start), and it’s all in black and white.

It also turns out that being all in black and white isn’t the limitation you might think it would be. Even in the lava filled area, the lava looks hot and dangerous even though its, well, not lava coloured.

Yes, this furnace thing is a boss.

There’s a nice array of bosses, some great Metroid-y ability upgrades (like a double jump) and a map with lots of squares to fill in as you find them. OK, so they don’t get filled in blue but that’s not really an issue. Jumping around feels perfect, and there’s a few areas where you have to chain moves together and it all feels just right, as it should.

It took me just shy of three hours to finish, but the end screen says I’ve only found 66% of stuff so there’s still more to go. Wonder if there’s a different ending for the full 100%?

Your cat can get out of the mech (and has to for some bits), but sometimes there are alternative vehicles to use.

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Yono and the Celestial Elephants (Switch): COMPLETED!

I’ve had my eye on this for a while what with the cute elephant and the lovely looking world. Got round to it yesterday and completed it today, and it’s very nice indeed.

I won’t go into it too much, but it’s short and sweet, with some mostly simple puzzles and very simple combat, but sometimes you just want something low impact like that with really nice graphics and an unusual world to run round in for a bit.

Awww, lookit deh cute widdle heggogs

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Yoshi’s Crafted World (Switch): COMPLETED!

One of the (few) complaints I’ve seen people level at Yoshi’s Crafted World is that it is too easy. That none of the levels are a challenge. That the bosses are all a breeze to take down. Indeed, I’ve reached the end and beaten the final boss and I’ve barely a scratch. But that’s not the point.

Like previous Yoshi games, it’s easy for anyone to “complete”. To get all the secrets – all the flowers, red coins, hidden souvenirs, finish each level with full health, find all the Poochies on the flip side, finish the extra levels unlocked after the final boss – to get all of that, requires a heroic effort.

I’ve not given this game such an effort yet. But I did enjoy my path to the end. I tried to 100% it on the way but after a couple of levels where I didn’t on my first try I thought I’d leave it and come back. It’s a beautiful looking game, and it does that great Nintendo thing of being crammed with a million different brilliant ideas (in most graphics and gameplay), rarely to ever re-use them. You can imagine an entire game based around the Rhinono level or the creepy teddies with axes level or the duelling boats level or the solar powered racers level, but here Nintendo throw it at you then discard it immediately. How do they come up with so many ideas?

Judging from some of the requirements to get 100% I’m not sure I’ll ever make it, but I’ll certainly try for a higher percentage than I’m currently at!

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