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Tearaway: lots of idiocy

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The PS Vita is a portable system - just about, admittedly, since it's bigger than a PSP and won't fit into a normal pocket.  Still, it's got an integrated screen and headphone socket, so it's ideal to play on the train during my commute.  With Tearaway you do look a bit daft from time to time when you start to prod the back of the console and use the touchscreen, but nobody looks at you on the train so that's fine.

People can, however, hear you.  I'm sure I'm not the only person to play Tearaway on the train - in fact, I'm sure some of the developers of the game must get a train from time to time and play their 3DS or Vita on board.  Did nobody at any point in the development process think that it might not be such a great idea to include a bit in the game where you have to shout into your console?


There's no way to skip this and use a default noise, you have to record yourself (and it won't accept just background noise, either).  Needless to say, I'm not going to do that on the train, and as I can hardly do it in the office either I'm not going to be able to play the game on my way home either.

Idiots.

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies: Turnabout Reclaimed: completed!

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Let's just deconstruct that headline.  I've completed the game!  The game in question is the additional case for the 3DS Phoenix Wright game; this additional downloadable case was called 'Turnabout Reclaimed'.  It involved two court cases, in fact, first defending an orca from a murder charge, and then defending her trainer.  In that second court case, I called the orca as a witness.

Yes, an orca.


Having the case split into two worked quite well, as otherwise it could have become a little excessive in length.  Towards the end of the second case there were a number of clever twists which referred right back to the initial investigations, and the cast of characters was exactly the right size to avoid confusion.  The only story-related point which did seem a little off was the marginalisation of Prosecutor Blackquill, whose role seemed to only consist of taunting Phoenix from time to time.

As ever, there were some excellent bits of writing in the game, spoilt only by the occasional typo.  The judge in particular was well written, with his amazement over the orca (and distraction by the penguins) well thought out.  His constant mistake over hip-hop music was the most amusing though.

The case-specific characters were a mixed bunch.  Initially I couldn't stand Dr Crab, but I warmed to him towards the end of the game, although I'm annoyed by the way that characters flat-out lie with quite flimsy reasoning at times.  Some of the later parts of the case revolved around the system he ran (which was "illegal" - I think there was a bit of an error in translation here, I think it was probably meant to simply by unapproved), which had one of the most awkward abbreviations ever.


Sasha' on the other hand, I immediately liked as a character, but she very quickly revealed herself to just be a bit shallow and whiny. Her constant fish puns tailed off in the middle of the game, only to see a resurgence at the end.


Finally, Marlon Rimes ... amusing and unlikable, and an obvious villain from the start. He made me laugh many a time, particularly when his solid evidence revolves around him rapping that he didn't do it.


No more Phoenix Wright for a while - this makes me sad.

Tomb Raider: massacres

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This is the 2013 game called Tomb Raider, as opposed to the 1996 game called Tomb Raider.  I completed the 1996 game called Tomb Raider back in 1998, after I completed the 1997 game called Tomb Raider II.  I also played a significant amount of the 2007 game called Tomb Raider Anniversary (on the PS2) which was a remake of the 1996 game called Tomb Raider but not the 2013 game called Tomb Raider.  I'm not sure if I completed that.

I hate it when games have the same name.

Anyway, the 2013 game called Tomb Raider is actually really good.  It's easily recognisable as a game in the Tomb Raider series, not only because of the name - there's a lot of exploration, working out how to get to different places, and an athletic female hero.  However, there are also a lot of deaths, which goes against some of the plot of the original games.  In the first Tomb Raider, the bloke who employs Lara and then subsequently double crosses her is meant to be the first human she ever kills.  In this game, which I think is set before that first game, she's gunning down hundreds.

I don't remember a Tomb Raider which is quite so bloodthirsty, in fact.  There's a flimsy story excuse as to why Lara is happy to shoot men, along the lines of them being brainwashed and it being a kill-or-be-killed situation, but when Tomb Raider II came out one of the chief complaints was that Lara was too gun-happy and this is magnitudes worse.  At times it's less of an exploration game and more of a strategic cover shooter.  Hiding behind crates and popping out to kill enemies is eerily reminiscent of Read Dead Redemption and LA Noire.

Despite this (and the heterogeneity of modern game design), I'm enjoying the game.  There's no global travels for Lara here, no separation of the game into areas and levels - instead, as I explore the island more I'm appreciating the value in getting to know one area so well.  It helps, of course, that this one island seems to include tropical beaches and snow-capped mountains.  There's a good sense of geography in the game, though, and some of the scenery is spectacular.






I'll continue to play this, no doubt, although I am starting to tire of the excessive grittiness and attempts to shock.  I've lost count of the number of cutscenes with Lara covered in blood.

Little Deviants: dull

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Gosh, it looks zany exciting fun, doesn't it?  The main character's goofy face just screams originality, and the over-complicated colours and textures just go to reinforce this as a game full of vibrancy and enjoyment.  You get to roll your little ball around the courses, avoiding the robots and darting between posts when the electricity stops.  But, in case that doesn't sound amazing enough, you have to do it by manipulating the ground around the ball, pushing it up using the touch panel.  Don't use any method of control which actually puts you in control, instead let's make sure the game is as frustrating to play as possible.

I understand that the "new game" I unlocked is actually something completely different to play, and this is in fact a collection of minigames to show off the capabilities of the Vita.  All it's done is convince me that the back trackpad doesn't work as a control method, and also that I don't really want to play Little Deviants any more.

Tearaway: lots of style

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Tearaway is the game that most made me want a PS Vita, and it's not disappointed.  I loved the idea of LittleBigPlanet but found the execution a bit iffy - and the controls were awfully floaty. I was never going to get into level designing or clever mechanics, either, due to a lack of time.

Tearaway is from the people who made LBP but without the faff, an added dimension, and an even more stylish identity.  Everything's made out of paper - indeed, you can download papercraft templates to make everything in real life - and the many odd control methods on the Vita are used in an intelligent way, only occasionally feeling like they're stuck in for effect.  Poking the back panel pushes up diaphragms or even allows your finger to poke into the world.  The front camera projects your face onto the sun.  The touch screen allows you to directly manipulate parts of the world.  I'm just waiting for the game to require me to shout something.


It's a but of a collectathon in the bad tradition of Rare games, but as soon as you decide that you're not required to find all the presents and photo opportunities and confetti, the journey through the levels is much more fun.  Depending on the length of the game, I may even be back to find more bits.



The levels are nicely varied and there are some clever bits of platforming required.  I've now regained the powers to jump and roll into a ball, and the way in which the levels were constructed before these powers were available was ingenious at times.


I am the "you", and my ugly mug shines down upon the people. Guilt of that alone means I want to carry on and complete this as soon as possible!