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Return to Monkey Island (Switch): COMPLETED!

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It’s another one of those “why did it take me so long to get round to it” games. Well, to answer that, just take a look around the rest of my site. But here I am, having eventually played and completed it.

There was much kerfuffle about the change in graphic style between this and the original (and the remasters of those, and the Telltale Games ones) as if the pixels of the first two games were sacred and should never be altered. Even though they already had, several times. To this I say: go away. They’re fine. Better than fine. They look great. Stop whining.

It’s been a long time since I played any of the Monkey Island games in any form for any length of time, but coming to this even after such a gap was a real kick in the memberberries as so many of the characters, sounds, locations and banter are instantly recognisable. It helps that it is a direct continuation of the second Monkey Island game (explaining the unusual ending of that title) and has the original voice actors, in the most part, from the original “talkie” versions. With much of the game set on the familiar Melee Island, complete with SCUMM Bar and the Ask Me About Loom guy, it’s really like old times. Only new.

The plot involves going back to Monkey Island, as the game’s name suggests, to, you know, actually get the Secret Of Monkey Island this time. As you’d expect, that involves point-and-click adventure puzzles. Some of these are similar but different to puzzles in the older games (such as the potion required to actually get to Monkey Island), and none seem to be as obtuse as those that came before, although the pulley-in-a-rubber-chicken one is referenced. In this way, it feels easier, but it also means that everything makes more logical sense and really the only criticisms the original games garnered were about the illogical solutions, so that’s fine.

It’s as funny as you’d expect, as good as you’d hoped, and just modernised enough as you can tolerate. More like this, please.

FAR: Lone Sails (Switch): COMPLETED!

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In a post-apocalypse world, the seas have dried up and you, the only living creature in the entire game, have a land-boat thing with big wheels which you have to take from the left side of the world to the right side of the world. You have an engine you need to keep fuelled, you get a sail you can raise when there’s wind, things break and catch fire and you have to fix them, and often there are places you can’t get past (presumably because the game is 2D and there’s no steering wheel) so you have to hop out your land-boat and explore some abandoned structure to open a door or power a lift or something to progress.

The problem is, everything is too small. I don’t mean just on the Switch handheld, as I played this on a 50 inch TV; Everything you need to actually see (like the stuff you pick up or things you interact with) is minute and you can’t make out what most of it as and so you have no idea what anything is for. Turns out, almost everything you pick up is just fuel or ornamental or both, so my hoarding of All The Things was pointless and it didn’t matter that I couldn’t see anything anyway. Just burn it all. Apart from the red things (that are more red than the other red things) as they make your engine go on fire.

Eventually you get to the far right of the world, and the game ends and that’s it. No win, no prize, no happy ending, you just get there and your ship has fallen to bits and you light a lamp and that’s the end. A real disappointment, and it doesn’t feel like the game was supposed to be teaching you a lesson that there would be one or anything like that, and after a bit of research I’m pretty confident I haven’t stumbled into a “bad” ending – that’s just how it ends.

I did enjoy it, mainly because it looks lovely and the world is great, but I don’t really understand either 1) what was the point of it all, and 2) why it was so lauded in the press. Also, what does FAR stand for?

PowerWash Simulator (PS5): COMPLETED!

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In some ways, this is the reverse game to Splatoon. Instead of painting everything you have to clean everything. And that’s all you do. Clean everything. With a power washer1. There are filthy buildings, and objects, and vehicles. Different materials are easier or harder to clean, and you can buy special soaps to assist. Things will be out of reach, so you have to buy longer attachments for your washer. Eventually you need to buy whole new, more efficient and powerful washers to blast away even more stubborn dirt.

And it takes ages.

With cleaning a garden (one of your first tasks) taking nearly an hour, and the final building (no spoilers) taking you, or at least, me, eight or more, it’s as much a job as the real power washing business would be. Even the smaller vehicles can take a while, especially getting into all the nooks and crannies.

Some levels are tricky as finding tiny or hidden areas to clean isn’t easy, and getting on, under or around things to reach the grime can be a challenge. You’ve only your washer, a step, and a small ladder for most of the game to assist, and even when you get scaffolding that doesn’t help with the final tucked away pixels of muck you inevitably spend both an hour looking for, and clean entirely by accident in the end.

Sounds dull, right? It is. Only, somehow, it isn’t. It’s rewarding to finish off a huge wall and get the “flash” and jingle to signify you’ve found all the dirt on it. To see what sometimes isn’t even recognisable as a thing due to the filth on it become a sparkly skate park or jet engine or plant pot or something. To be honest, the feeling of a job well done would be enough to “enjoy” the game, but there’s more here than just that.

Yeah, so you do only wash stuff. There’s nothing else to do (unless you count carrying a gnome around or playing “squirt the football about a bit”), but there is a story. What starts out as a few jobs for the locals – their house, their car – becomes “clean my jet plane that has anti-gravity plates and a laser cannon” and “there’s a dirty statue with weird glowing eyes in the desert, pointing at the volcano which is getting a bit rumbly”. I won’t spoilt it, but boy, does it go somewhere with this. There’s a whole side story about the Mayor and his lost cat. A car that was once used in a film. And the ever-present volcano.

So, after 40 hours play, perhaps even longer, I’d cleaned everything. Even all the toilets in the toilets level. Which, to be honest, was the main reason I started playing in the first place even though I didn’t know for sure there would even be a toilet level. Phew, eh?

  1. Technically, and the game does point this out at one point with a message from guy who is clearly pushing his glasses up his nose as he types, it’s a pressure washer, not a power washer ↩︎

Splatoon 3 (Switch): COMPLETED!

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Unlike 99.99% of Splatoon players, the game has always been about the single player game to me. My understanding is that most players aren’t even aware there is a single player mode. I don’t dislike the online multiplayer, and sure, I supplemented my solo play through Splatoon 3 with a few online games, but it’s not where all the fun for me is.

At the end of Splatoon 2 (as in, the single player game there), it’s teased that some mammals – who predate the squid and octopuses who have evolved in the world and were long thought extinct – are still alive. And so this is revealed properly in Splatoon 3, with Grizz, the hidden CEO of the salmon roe factory (or whatever he does) happens to be a giant bear and the main boss of the game. DJ Octavio, the end of game boss of the previous two games, does return, but he’s not the baddie here. In fact, the two new TV hosts – Shiver and Frye – would appear to be until… well. Not too many spoilers.

The single player world is set in some underground ruined research centre, much of which is covered in some furry goo. Luckily, you have a pet fish who, once fed with enough eggs earned mainly from completing levels, can eat bits of it allowing access to more levels, areas, upgrades, and so on. The levels themselves are similar to those that came before, each with a specific gimmick (such as you have to use rollers, or there are platforms that fold out, or you can’t use any ink) that often turns the level into less of a fight and more of a puzzle. A few are against the clock, and some require accurate shooting, but all of them are different and most secretly teach you skills, moves or tricks you can use in the multiplayer mode.

It felt a bit shorter than the mode in Splatoon 2, and was certainly a lot easier, but it’s such a fun game it doesn’t matter.

The Many Pieces of Mr. Coo (Switch): COMPLETED!

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Back in the 90s, Channel 4 in the UK would sometimes show strange animated short films from abroad. I think they were part of some animation festival or something. This game immediately put be in mind of one of those. It’s a weird, nonsensical, abstract cartoon but it’s also a point and click adventure game. There’s no (recognisable) speech. Little in the way of explicit instruction, no narration, and certainly no explanation to the events. But it works!

Assembling the story yourself, Mr. Coo is given a present which manages to escape. The first half of the game is trying to get this back, with weird events and creatures that help and hinder. Like a thing which jumps on mushrooms, or a tree that un-grows back into a seed or an arcade machine which you can reach into (and get slapped by a monkey in a fez with a crowbar).

After that, Mr Coo is cut up three pieces and the rest of the game involves trying to reassemble him. Some of the puzzles require controlling each part separately, adding a level of complexity (and absurdity). That said, most of the puzzles are either reasonably easy, or solvable with trial and error. Unlike most point-and-click games you don’t have an inventory and there aren’t that many items you can actually pick up or interact with. It makes it a bit limited, but it does mean if you’re stuck you don’t have 15 items in your pocket to try on 30 different hot spots in the hope something works. One really obscure puzzle was on the end “boss fight” where I didn’t realise you could use a specific background object at a specific time with a specific part of Mr Coo, but most of the rest are work-out-able.

I was disappointed that the ending came so quickly, not least because it’s a “to be continued” rather than a completion of the story, and who knows when the follow-up will be released. It finishes on an ending of sorts, but then there’s more and it feels like the developers just decided “that’s enough game for now, we’ll do the rest later” which is frustrating. I also came across a handful of bugs; One was when an item was “spawned” in the wrong place and couldn’t be moved to the right place, and a few times the game just crashed out completely. As you can’t save manually, and you rely on non-obvious and irregularly spaced checkpoints, that was a pain too. I had to redo parts of the game several times as a result. Not a massive hassle, but a negative in a game which is otherwise so polished.