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Knuckle Bash (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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I broke out the Evercade VS for some games with my daughter, and this was one of those we played. It’s a Final Fight clone by Toaplan, and is very silly and badly translated. You’re wrestlers, I think, one of whom is Elvis Presley, and you have to fight your way through the streets and buildings to take down the bad guys, some of whom join your cause.

It’s hilarious. But not (always) intentionally so. It’s just so ridiculous. Like the hotel level where the bellboys join in the fight and you smash through a Manneken Pis to get to the next section. Some “levels” are pretty much a single screen, like the wrestling ring, and others are longer. None of them make a lot of sense, but it’s playable (“just punch everyone” is an easy enough concept to understand) and just the right amount of button-mashy.

Batsugun (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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Well isn’t this a slick little arcade shooter? I’ve heard of it before but never played it, and I don’t generally get excited over shoot ’em ups as they’re not really my favourite genre, but I couldn’t help be impressed with just how much is going on at any one time on this.

I suppose in some ways it’s an early bullet hell shooter, in that there are so many bullets coming at you the main focus of the game is avoiding them rather than shooting stuff (as that happens mostly coincidentally). Actually, having now stopped typing and looked it up, it seems that Batsugun is generally considered the first bullet hell shooter and not only that, but the development team later became Cave who are synonymous with bullet hell shooters. Well, it shows.

On the Evercade EXP you can play it in TATE mode, which I did, and it’s lovely. There are huge things to shoot, things to collect (which may improve my shooting skills but I couldn’t figure out how), massive bosses, and three different characters with different weapons to choose from. I chose Type B, the big laser cannon thing.

It’s a bit short with only five (I think) levels, but you can’t really complain as it’s an arcade game. It is, like most arcade shooters, impossible to complete without pumping it full of coins, so I was thankful for the unlimited virtual pennies.

Sküljagger (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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Sküljagger (no, I’d never heard of it either) is a Bad Game. Originally a SNES game which seemed to have been completely ignored at the time, it’s yet another 16-bit platform with literally nothing going for it. It seems to have a pirate theme or maybe a viking theme or who actually knows, or cares? You have a sword and have platforms to navigate. Wow. Even at the time this can’t have been more than a 5/10 title.

It’s janky and the collision detection is rubbish, the levels are dull and repetitive, enemies appear out of nowhere to kill you, there are several power-ups all of which are useless, and the walls of text between levels are badly written. Or translated? Or both.

So why did I play it to the end? Because I don’t know. Don’t judge me.

The Little Tales of Alexandria (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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This game is a very short narrative discovery game for the Game Boy, released on an Evercade Indie Heroes cartridge. You’re a girl in a block of flats, you talk to people, find cats, and then it ends.

There’s not really much else to say. It has some charm, but there’s very little here even for this genre, and it’s a bit clunky and collision detection is all over the place. My guess is it’s built on an engine like Deadeus was, but not as successfully.

Alien Breed Special Edition ’92 (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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I seem to remember this getting really good reviews upon original release, but I’m struggling to see how. I did look up some of them, and came across this incredible bit of art editor drunkenness from Amiga User International, which attempts to show the screen that comes up when you access a computer terminal, but fails, rather than any of the actual game itself. Incredible work. And also look out for some great whitespace issues:

Anyway, that review also tells you about the game so I don’t need to, but I will tell you why it is wrong. Firstly, calling it “based on Gauntlet” is really doing Gauntlet a disservice. Sure, you have a top-down maze and keys to open doors, but that’s it. Gauntlet has variety. Loads of baddies and baddie generators. Bonus levels, great speech, four players, potions… so much more than Alien Breed which has boring levels, mazes that do nothing but frustrate, way more doors than keys meaning it’s very, very easy to get stuck if you open the wrong door (and so have to restart the level), and several levels with countdown timers where you have to solve the maze super-quick. One of them gives you just two seconds to get out, with the distance to cover also taking two seconds. Not fun.

There are also only really three different baddies, ammo is in very short supply, you have to collect money for better weapons which aren’t really worth it, and it’s possible to accidently trigger fire doors so you can’t progress as once closed, they’re closed for good.

The aliens (which have been lifted directly from Aliens) aren’t really even a threat – it’s everything else that is. Bad game. To your room.