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Joe & Mac Returns (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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Another two player Evercade game. I’ve played Joe & Mac (Caveman Ninja) before, and the sequel, but hadn’t even heard of this. In fact, I thought it was the sequel when I started it up. As it turns out, it’s a completely different sort of platformer.

Whereas the other two Joe & Mac games were sideways scrolling platformers where you club baddies, Returns is a two player Bubble Bobble/Snowbros/Rodland type single screen “clear the baddies” type game. You still club the baddies, but they now need multiple hits before they get stuffed into a snowball bag and you push the snowball bag into other baddies to knock them out too. Defeat enough baddies with the same snowball bag and you get larger fruit meat and more points. Yes, it’s very much like those other games.

With the exception that each between-level animation has the pervy cavemen spying on, or “accidentally” undressing one of the cave women. You’d never catch Bub or Bob doing that.

We completed it, which was surprisingly easy for an arcade game, and found it enjoyable although it isn’t surprising it never hit the big time like those games it apes as it lacks the cute factor and isn’t quite as much fun. Snowballs and bubbles are more satisfying than bags, obviously.

Knuckle Bash (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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I broke out the Evercade VS for some games with my daughter, and this was one of those we played. It’s a Final Fight clone by Toaplan, and is very silly and badly translated. You’re wrestlers, I think, one of whom is Elvis Presley, and you have to fight your way through the streets and buildings to take down the bad guys, some of whom join your cause.

It’s hilarious. But not (always) intentionally so. It’s just so ridiculous. Like the hotel level where the bellboys join in the fight and you smash through a Manneken Pis to get to the next section. Some “levels” are pretty much a single screen, like the wrestling ring, and others are longer. None of them make a lot of sense, but it’s playable (“just punch everyone” is an easy enough concept to understand) and just the right amount of button-mashy.

Batsugun (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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Well isn’t this a slick little arcade shooter? I’ve heard of it before but never played it, and I don’t generally get excited over shoot ’em ups as they’re not really my favourite genre, but I couldn’t help be impressed with just how much is going on at any one time on this.

I suppose in some ways it’s an early bullet hell shooter, in that there are so many bullets coming at you the main focus of the game is avoiding them rather than shooting stuff (as that happens mostly coincidentally). Actually, having now stopped typing and looked it up, it seems that Batsugun is generally considered the first bullet hell shooter and not only that, but the development team later became Cave who are synonymous with bullet hell shooters. Well, it shows.

On the Evercade EXP you can play it in TATE mode, which I did, and it’s lovely. There are huge things to shoot, things to collect (which may improve my shooting skills but I couldn’t figure out how), massive bosses, and three different characters with different weapons to choose from. I chose Type B, the big laser cannon thing.

It’s a bit short with only five (I think) levels, but you can’t really complain as it’s an arcade game. It is, like most arcade shooters, impossible to complete without pumping it full of coins, so I was thankful for the unlimited virtual pennies.

Sküljagger (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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Sküljagger (no, I’d never heard of it either) is a Bad Game. Originally a SNES game which seemed to have been completely ignored at the time, it’s yet another 16-bit platform with literally nothing going for it. It seems to have a pirate theme or maybe a viking theme or who actually knows, or cares? You have a sword and have platforms to navigate. Wow. Even at the time this can’t have been more than a 5/10 title.

It’s janky and the collision detection is rubbish, the levels are dull and repetitive, enemies appear out of nowhere to kill you, there are several power-ups all of which are useless, and the walls of text between levels are badly written. Or translated? Or both.

So why did I play it to the end? Because I don’t know. Don’t judge me.

The Little Tales of Alexandria (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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This game is a very short narrative discovery game for the Game Boy, released on an Evercade Indie Heroes cartridge. You’re a girl in a block of flats, you talk to people, find cats, and then it ends.

There’s not really much else to say. It has some charm, but there’s very little here even for this genre, and it’s a bit clunky and collision detection is all over the place. My guess is it’s built on an engine like Deadeus was, but not as successfully.