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Deus Ex Machina 2 (Mac): COMPLETED!

Posted on 23/09/2015 Written by deKay

2015-09-23_00006Way back in the primordial past, when games were made from rocks and cost as much as a family car to buy, there was a game called Deus Ex Machina. I’ve never played it. I’ve read a lot about it, none of which makes any sense. From what I can discern, it was more an experience than a game, and consisted of some minigames that you played while listening to an audio tape. Because, of course, voices in early 1980s computer games were limited to “HNNGHSLUMMMNDMUH” (“he slimed me”) in the Ghostbusters game.

2015-09-23_00010A couple of years ago, the creator of Deus Ex Machina (note the “Machina” bit – this has nothing to do with any cyberpunk first person shooters), Mel Croucher, Kickstarted a sequel. I gather it’s actually more of a re-realisation of the first game than a real sequel, using today’s technology to create what he imagined the game to be in the first place. Probably.

This week, it was cheap enough to be virtually free on Steam, and since I had credit gained from selling trading cards, it actually was free to me, so I bought it. I had no idea what I was in for. Having completed it in just over an hour, I’m still not entirely sure.

2015-09-23_00016There are several chapters, each covering a different stage in a person’s life. Conception, birth, growing up, puberty, and so on until (and past) death. Christopher Lee poetically narrates the story, and each chapter has a fantastic and differently styled musical track to accompany it. Notably, Ian Dury provides lyrics and voice to some of these, despite having been dead for over a decade. I suspect his recordings from the original game were reused.

It’s the music and narration that make the game, as both are genuinely outstanding. Croucher’s clever verses make some great tracks, and the vocalists and musicians make music I’d happily buy on an album. Lee’s voice fits excellently as well. Unfortunately, the game doesn’t match up.

2015-09-23_00020Of course, I say game when I really mean experience. Each chapter mainly involves your naked avatar walking, floating, and sometimes running, into the screen. You can vaguely direct either him or something else on the screen in order to collect or avoid various things (kisses on one level, medicine on another). As you do so, your “degree of ideal entity” score goes up or down apparently in tune to what you’ve collected or avoided, although it is not always obvious which way it will go. I suspect it doesn’t matter; mine was bumped up to almost 100% through a successful egg fertilisation, but dropped heavily when I chose the non-warmongering options in a later section. Who knows what difference it makes to the ending.

As I said, your avatar is usually only vaguely directable so your impact on his path and ultimately his score feels disconnected. It’s clear you’re going to complete the game any way you play, even if you chose not to control your man at all. It seems a bit pointless, but it’s so worth playing. Sorry, experiencing. That music.

Filed Under: Gaming Diary Tagged With: completed, deus ex machina, Mac, Post

Spoiler Alert (PC): COMPLETED!

Posted on 19/09/2015 Written by deKay

2015-09-19_00003I had no idea what to expect when playing this, as I’d never heard of it before. In fact, I only own it at all because it came in a Humble Bundle I bought for other reasons. I have to say, it was a bit of a surprise.

First off, it appears to be an endless runner game, albeit with an end. Like Bit Trip Runner. Only with a running chilli. Thing is, you start at the end of the game, and beat the final boss on the first level, except it’s the final level. Princess rescued, credits roll. Then credits roll backwards. And so begins playing the entire game back to front.

It’s still a not-endless runner, but now you run backwards from right to left, unkilling baddies and catching projectiles you’ve thrown, all while avoiding coins you hadn’t collected and uncollecting those you had. It makes more sense when you play, probably.

It’s short, cheap, and not especially difficult, but I had fun with it while it lasted.

Filed Under: Gaming Diary Tagged With: completed, PC, Post, spoiler alert

Grow Home (PS4): COMPLETED!

Posted on 05/09/2015 Written by deKay

Green_Hill_X_Mushroom_Hill_Zone__t_httpt.covHQuSQaYWtSo many people were excited for this game, and voted it way ahead of two other potential PS+ titles this month as a result, but the majority of views of people after they’ve actually played it seem negative. Apparently, it’s “ruined” by screen tearing. It’s boring. The controls (specifically the climbing) are terrible, and so on.

I’d like to suggest, that those people are idiots.

Grow Home_20150901191542Yes, there is screen tearing. But I only noticed it when it was pointed out to me via a screenshot. I genuinely can’t see it when playing. The controls are awkward at first, but soon you find that L2 (left hand grab) and R2 (right arm grab) are intuitive, and by pushing up and alternating L2 and R2 you can climb quickly. As you progress, you unlock a jet pack, what amounts to a parachute, and finally a glider, and from then on, you climb less anyway. You don’t fall off the plant you’re growing so much, and the game becomes fun.

Grow Home_20150905144840I found it fun anyway. Riding flower sprouts from the main giant star plant to glowing islands in the sky (the main task in the game) is fun. Grabbing objects just to see what they do is fun. Getting all the crystals is Crackdown-like, and fun. It’s all FUN.

The most fun, however, is grabbing a sheep, then dragging him into the sea. Always hilarious, especially watching his little sheepy face as you do it. Or, when two sheep are playing football with a pumpkin (no, really), you grab it, and chuck it in the sea. The sheep just look at you in disappointment. Leaves me in stitches. Being chased by a bull. MOM’s comments. Growing a giant phallus. It’s a great game, and those joyless inhumans who don’t think so are wrong.

Sheep based fun here:

Filed Under: Gaming Diary Tagged With: completed, grow home, Post, ps+, PS4, psn

Octodad: Dadliest Catch (PS4): COMPLETED!

Posted on 04/09/2015 Written by deKay

Octodad: Dadliest Catch_20150904200449Firstly, I should point out that the lyrics to this game’s theme song have been wedged in my head for the last few days. Specifically “Octodad – nobody suspects a thing”. It’s so catchy.

As for the game, it’s frustrating, looks a lot like that original Xbox Leisure Suit Larry game in graphics quality and style, is impossible to control, had a terrible camera, and is awesome. You’re an octopus trying to live his life, implausibly with his family who are not octopi, as a human. You can’t speak, you can barely control your flailing tentacles, and – well – you look like a damn octopus.

Octodad: Dadliest Catch_20150903220648Your analogue triggers control moving the tentacles designated as your legs up and down, with R1 activating your hand-tentacle. The analogue sticks vaguely direct whichever fake limb you’re currently trying to control, and that’s pretty much your lot. Spill and flop your way around your house, try to make coffee with your flappy bits, clean up the garden, go shopping, and visit Octodad’s most hated of places – the aquarium. All while trying to be as human as possible else people begin to suspect you might be a cephalopod and not a slightly salty man after all.

Octodad: Dadliest Catch_20150904221829It’s a pretty short game, and aside from a bit near the end where you have to navigate on some planks of wood, it’s also pretty easy. It is a lot of fun, though, and throwing everything you can find all over the place never gets old. Not least in the bonus extra level where you and your wife go for a romantic meal and you can chuck the food, crockery and cutlery at the waiters.

Oh, and bonus marks for having toilets in the game. Any game with toilets in now gets an extra recommendation from me, and I’ve set up a Tumblr to record them.

Here’s a video of the final 40 minutes or so of the main story. Spoilers!

Filed Under: Gaming Diary Tagged With: completed, octodad, Post, PS4, psn

3D Gunstar Heroes (3DS): COMPLETED!

Posted on 23/08/2015 Written by deKay

tumblr_ntjmu71mq41svmpf2o1_400The second game of the day, with Heroes in the title!

I never completed Gunstar Heroes back in the day. In fact, I don’t think I ever played it much (I didn’t buy it until many years after release anyway). Or even enjoyed it. Yeah, I’m a heretic.

tumblr_ntjmsfgaqs1svmpf2o1_400But there’s something about these 3D ports on the 3DS that make you want to play them anyway, isn’t there? Otherwise why did I buy Altered Beast again? Hmm.

tumblr_ntjms41ps41svmpf2o1_400My main issue with Gunstar Heroes previously is it’s too hard. Or so I thought. One I’d picked up the “chaser/shot” combo it all suddenly became a lot easier to progress. Sure, I struggled a bit with some (most!) of the bosses, but the actual levels themselves were a walkover in comparison to previous attempts to play the game.

And it was fun! A lot of mostly mindless fun! Aside from Golden Silver at the end. He can do one. So many attempts.

Filed Under: Gaming Diary Tagged With: 3ds, completed, gunstar heroes, Post, retro

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97: I’m Feeling A Bit Squiffy
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G’morrow beautiful friends! Here to waft away the damp, darkened skies of the season (or maybe make them damper and darker), it’s Episode 97 of the ugvm Podcast. The podcast you love to subscribe to but hit skip when it comes up on the playlist. Yeah, we know. It’s OK. We don’t get paid either way.

In this episode, deKay, Kendrick and Toby “entertain” you with fun game related news and chat, which this time round includes speculation on Valve’s new hardware triple combo, a show report from the Valorant Champions event in that there Paris (France, not Texas), and one of the team became A Magnificent Man in a Flying Machine. Oh, and Kendrick has bought a new VR headset. Yes, Hell has finally frozen over. Not only that! We have gaaaaaaaaames!

97: I’m Feeling A Bit Squiffy
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