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This was a quick play after Thank Goodness You’re Here!, and it’s sort of a prototype for what that game ended up being. It’s more abstract, but still very silly.
This time, you’re a sort of naked onionman thing who has to find food for a creature in order to progress. There’s not a lot to it, but it was enjoyable enough – and free on Steam! Bargain.
Sometimes, a game comes along which is properly hilarious. Sure, there are funny games, and games with funny events or “player made” hilarity, but it’s rare for a funny game to be this funny.
Thank Goodness You’re Here! is what we used to call an arcade adventure game. I suppose, in some ways, it’s the spiritual successor to such British 8-bit computer games as Everyone’s A Wally and Jack the Nipper. You, as a little (although his size randomly changes somehow) yellow man have arrived at the mayor’s office only to find you’ve some time to kill so wander outside. Then begins a ridiculous chain of events across this northern town where you’re expected to help out in various stupid and nonsensical ways.
For example, one of your first tasks involves freeing a portly gentleman who has reached into a drain to reach a tuppence and got his arm stuck. Off you go to the bakery to nick a load of butter with which to lubricate the arm, which frees him and reveals it to actually be a thruppence, not a tuppence. What joy!
Other tasks include arranging smoking fish in a fishmongers, repeatedly annoying a quiet old man by plopping through his chimney sooting up his living room, and fetching meat to make pies. There’s a huge number of proper Northern people who populate this town, ably voiced by Matt Berry and Jon Blyth, amongst others, who add even more silliness to the proceedings. Events that just happen around you, like the singing rats in bins, the Sausage Man, and the chap who sells bricks, as well as a few romances and rivalries (there’s a near war in the Big Pie vs Little Pie side story). Every few seconds there’s a funny event, new character, or bit of dialogue, and it all feels a bit Python-y and a bit On The Buses-y in the best possible way. There’s also a load of adverts for in-universe products which are hilarious.
The gameplay is pretty simple, mostly involving some minor platforming and fetch and carry requests punctuated with a bit of exploration and pathfinding as various areas are revisited in different ways as routes open up or close. That’s not a criticism like it might be with a “straight” game, as the point here is to enjoy the people and the setting (and the accents) more than the gameplay itself which is mostly just the vehicle to progress the story and events.
It’s a really unique game, and I wish I could forget all about it so I can play it again and re-discover it all.
One good thing about PS++++++++++, is that in amongst all the crap games and shovelware there are a load of co-op games that are fun for me to play with my daughter. It’s because of an afternoon where we were looking for something to play together that we were trawling through the library and spotted Phogs (or possibly “PHOGS!”), and now we’ve completed it.
In many ways, this game falls into a similar category as other wonky-physics titles like Human Fall Flat and Totally Reliable Delivery Service, in that you have inaccurate control over a character and have to manipulate objects in the environment in order to progress. An additional hinderance here, however, is that each player controls either end of a double-ended dog. Imagine a sausage dog with a head at each end, Push-Me-Pull-You style, with each independently moved by each player. You can make things cosy by sharing a single controller and having a stick each, but we were fine to go with a pad apiece.
Anyway. That’s all logistics waffle – what about the game?
It’s a sort of platformy-puzzley game, where your phog has to reach a big snake at the end of each level who swallows you and moves you on to the next. In the way are gaps you have to fill, plants you have to water, items you have to collect, water spouts you have to plug, and dark areas you have to light up (or vice versa). Mostly, these are achieved by grabbing something with one or both of your phog heads. For example, there’s a watermelon patch that needs watering so the watermelon can grow and create a platform for you to progress. Nearby is a pipe with water coming out. You grab on to the pipe with one phogmouth and then the other phogmouth becomes a hose, and – since you can also stretch your phog – you can use this to reach the patch and water the watermelon.
Cooperation is absolutely key, as you can imagine, especially on the many “swing over this gap” sections, where you can grab hold of a hook (or something) with one phoghead then swing the other phoghead to the next hook and grab hold, repeating until you’ve swung all the way over. Timing is often critical so we found ourselves counting to three a lot. Thankfully, you can’t really die and if you fall off the world (which is inevitable give the wonky physics and lack of coordination) you don’t lose much progress at all.
It’s not a very long game, with us finishing it in about three hours, but we enjoyed it and the silly hats you can unlock (which do nothing except adorn a head). There’s a fair amount of variety across the four main worlds, with bosses of a sort on each. The “night and day” world has some especially clever light-and-dark, awake-and-asleep and perspective puzzles and events. The final world also has a short section where there’s a big change to the game mechanics, although I won’t spoil it. Oh, and eating all the food you find so you get phat phogs never gets old or boring.
It’s nice and colourful and mostly low stress (unlike, say, Overcooked), and we didn’t end up fighting each other or anything so that’s probably a recommendation?
It’s rare I post about a game before I’ve completed it these days, but I felt I had to write something about Metaphor: ReFantazio. I’m only about 10 hours in, with the last five of those being mostly spent in the first proper dungeon, so it’s early doors, but oh my, is this a game.
To begin with, I was a little disappointed in the graphics. I’m not All About The Graphics, as regular readers would know, but it’s sometimes nice to play a PS5 game and have All The Graphics. Sadly, although it’s pretty, for the most part so far Metaphor isn’t an improvement on Xenoblade Chronicles 2. Until it comes to the UI, where it is utterly mental. If you thought, as I did, that Persona 4 Golden had UI diarrhoea (in a good way), then get a load of the exploded fontbook that is the Metaphor menu system and battle UI. Everything moves and has different fonts and styles and it’s all circular and spirals and flashy overlays and and and… there’s no reason for it! It doesn’t affect the gameplay in any way! My guess is the UI designer got bored after their task on the game only took a week.
That’s the first thing that hit me. The second was more subtle to begin with and is to do with the Metaphor title. After reaching Grand Trad, the (first?) big city in the game, and chatting to everyone and finding out what’s going on, my mission, and the general state of various races, religion, and relationships, added to a class system and a man who wants to change everything and be King, the real story was then as subtle as a brick to the face. It’s all about real life issues and politics under the guise of fantasy and magic. Clever.
That aside, the gameplay is Persona. So I’m loving it. The dungeon I’m in might be big and hard but it’s so slick and the turn-based combat is tuned to be fast and clear and stupidly over the top. It’s a shame the graphics aren’t quite there, but as I said, not a big loss for me.
Note: A free code was given to me by the devs for review purposes for an upcoming episode of the ugvm Podcast. This isn’t a full review, just a record in my gaming diary. The full review will be over there anon.
A while back, I played the totally ridiculous Switch game About An Elf. It had a very unique art style and gameplay which teeters on the very definition of what gameplay is, and was baffling before you even got into the plot. Very few games leave me with a lasting impression like that, so when I saw Miss Rosen’s Wowtastic! Marching Band, which features the same art style because, well, it turns out it’s by the same devs and set in the same universe, there was a pang of omgneed. And here I am having completed it to tell you about it.
I’ll start with the gameplay because, frankly, that’s the only bit that makes the slightest bit of sense. Each level, or rather, episode of Miss Rosen’s TV show, you’re given a number of “packing” puzzles to complete. You have to fit things on a desk, or in a suitcase, or a box, before the time runs out. That’s easy to understand, right? It’s not quite as easy as it seems because they’re mostly real-world items with their odd shapes and sizes, and later levels add gimmicks like things that are invisible or that constantly move to make it trickier.
On it’s own, it’s no Unpacking or anything, but the rest of the game. Oh my.
So Miss Rosen is a wind-up majorette. She has a TV show where she has “adventures” each episode, and you know they’re going to be fun because she’s here! How much fun? This much fun! Quite. The “fun” mainly involves talking to bizarre people, creatures and sentient objects, and then solving the packing puzzles in order to help or defeat them as appropriate. All while assisted by a child called Dunno who wears a bandana over his mouth which completely disguises the fact that he’s really a T-Rex because obviously?
As the game goes on, you find there’s Something Bad happening, with things disappearing not only from existence, but from time itself. Then your friends disappear too. Is it the work of a magician who makes things disappear in front of your very eyes? Well, that would be too obvious, surely?
What I really, really love about the game is the animation and art. Like About An Elf (Dam and her cat from that game make an appearance here too, actually) it’s hard to tell what is real, what is models, what is CGI, and what is your imagination because surely you can’t really be building a horse can you? Oh, you are? Righty-o. Backgrounds are filled with semi-humanoid mice that speed up and slow down. Is the sun made of plasticine or is it a woman wearing a mask? Why do all the women have hotpants on? THE CAR HAS A FACE. And WHY is the game called Miss Rosen’s Wowtastic! Marching Band when she doesn’t really have a marching band. Or even a band of any other sort. All important questions, none of which are answered and by the end you’re feeling bewildered and maybe a little bit sick like you’ve been on a Waltzer.
