Hatoful Boyfriend (Vita): COMPLETED!
When I looked up how long a game this is, I read it took about 8 hours to finish. So imagine my surprise when I reached the end credits in about 50 minutes.
Afterwards, it became clear that I got just one of many endings. Presumably my choices affect which bird I end up becoming close to, and since I spent all my time choosing the library, I got Nageki’s ending. Nageki who was… a ghost. WoooOOOO! Oh, spoiler. Sorry.
Yes, I was “getting close to” birds. Mostly pigeons. In school. And no, I wasn’t a bird as well – I was a human girl who lived in a cave and considered themselves a hunter-gatherer. Look, I didn’t come up with the game’s concept and quite clearly whoever did was dropped on their head as a child because even within the bizarre realm that is Japanese dating sims, Hatoful Boyfriend is elephant grade nuts.
I expect I will play it again for other endings. Because I happen to like elephant grade nuts.
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Thomas Was Alone: Benjamin’s Flight (Vita): COMPLETED!
It has to be said that there were two things harder than the actual game itself, but related to the game itself. Number one: actually getting the damn game to load. I had to download the Benji DLC again, restart the Vita, and sacrifice several virgin goats just to get as far as the menu screen. Number two: actually figuring out how to play the DLC. Turns out you have to choose to replay a scenario and then pick Episode 10. Which isn’t listed as Benji DLC. Ho hum.
Once in the game, it’s short and sweet with an abrupt ending that made me think I was missing some more levels. Not that it really matters.
Benjamin adds a jetpack ability, making his levels a bit faster and floaty than in the main game. It also seemed to make things a lot easier, and I rattled through the lot in just over half an hour. Not including problems with getting the game loaded and restarting from two crashes. Anyway, it was worth the 60p or whatever it was I paid.
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Grim Fandango Remastered (PS4/Vita): COMPLETED!
Interest started to wane the closer to the end I got. Puzzles continued to make less and less sense, and even the interest with following the plot was becoming difficult as it was taking longer and longer to solve the puzzles so the story was frequently put into stasis for long periods.
By the end it had become so drawn out I’d forgotten half the characters and the secretary, Meche and the woman from the hipster club all blurred into one. Then Celso appeared and confused me further. What I’m trying to say, is either have the great, funny story and a simpler or less difficult route to progress it, or stick with convoluted and obtuse puzzles and have an easier or more straightforward storyline. Or something.
Things were hampered further by playing the final year or two of the game on my Vita, where it crashed frequently leaving me stuck in scenery or completely kicking me out of the game. On another occasion I was supposed to pick up a grinder with a hand in it, but it wouldn’t let me until I’d quit the game and reloaded an earlier save. I’d also put down the Vita’s smaller, lower res screen (compared to the PS4, I mean) as cause of much annoyance when searching for a body in a meadow in the final section of the game – you can’t see a thing as everything is too small – but since I’d already had similar problems earlier on the PS4 (the sign in the wood bit) I can’t.
Items generally were fiddly to deal with. There was no way of accurately “activating” scenery, so often looking for items or clues turned into a Duke Nukem secret room style search, only without the HNGH HNGH WHERE IS IT. It was so easy to miss things, even when I was being helped (I didn’t use a guide, but did have a hint FAQ and Twitter at my disposal) simply because things were virtually invisible or you had to be pixel perfect to use them correctly. Could I not cut a rope with my scythe because I’m in the wrong place? Or I can but not yet? Or it isn’t time yet? That sort of thing. Even objects you’d managed to pick up were a pain to choose from your inventory as you have to cycle through them all in what appears to be random, and ever changing, order one at a time.
I suppose back in the late 90s on original release this interface and 3D graphics style were still in their infancy, and later similar games rectified things a little, but for a game almost universally acclaimed as a classic falls way short simply because of the unnecessarily clunky interface – ironically an interface that seems designed to do away with the unnecessarily clunky interface of earlier titles like Monkey Island with its verb/noun point and click system. It’s a shame they didn’t improve the input method when they improved the graphics for the Remastered version. Oh wait! They barely did that either. Aside from being slightly less jagged and with altered – but not necessarily better – lighting, the different between old and new is barely perceptible. In fact, at one point I’d been playing it for over an hour after accidentally putting it on “classic” mode before I realised.
Still it was funny, and I did, mostly, enjoy it. I just can’t help but feel a bit disappointed that it’s nowhere near as fantastic as I’d been led to believe. Shame.
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Batman Returns (Lynx): COMPLETED!
What a pile of utter tripe. A game that on the face of it looks a bit like the original Batman on the Megadrive (which was actually pretty good), but is actually nothing of the sort.
In this game, Batman moves from left to right failing to avoid enemies and their attacks because it impossible to dodge them all. Sometimes he’ll fall in a hole because of this, and it’ll be Game Over. That’s right – you have a single life, and if you fall in a hole it’s instant death and you start the entire game all over again. Utter nonsense.
You can’t even bide your time and take baddies out when you’re able to avoid their guns or bombs or rockets or whatever, as they constantly respawn and crowd you. The game is impossible.
Thankfully, there’s a level skip cheat that I employed to save having to play the whole thing again every time I died. I don’t care. As far as I’m concerned it’s a missing Continue option.
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