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Spider-Man 2 (PS5)

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Well this has been a long time coming. Yes, I could have bought it at any point but it was seventy paahnd or something else obscene so I didn’t. Then I got it for Christmas and it was added to the pile and in the last week, I finally got round to playing it. Just as Sony gave it away as a free rental on PS++++++++. The secret to comedy, is timing.

Let me first tell you about the install procedure. It took several hours to install the disc (remember those?) to the PS5’s internal SSD. Then, it took FOUR DAYS to download the 81GB update which presumably replaces the entire game I’d already waited impatiently to install. Then, it took TWO MORE DAYS “copying”. Exactly what it was copying, either from or where to, isn’t clear, but that was a long time for what is supposed to be the fastest storage media on any console ever. And then, when it finished copying, I had to wait another 17 minutes for “…”. Literally, that’s what it said it was doing. Just “…”. For 17 minutes. And people used to complain about Spectrum games taking two minutes to load.

Anyway. That furore overcome, I finally got into the game and oh my is it fun. I remember really enjoying the previous two games, and this is just more of the same, but it just plays so well! There’s loads to do, it looks fantastic, and – as has been the case for decades worth of Spideymens games – the web swinging never gets dull. Insomniac have even added “web wings” to let you glide, and there are paths that follow wind currents you can use so that getting around the (even bigger than before) city of New York is quick and fluid and a joy of acrobatics.

The plot this time centres on Harry Osborn’s miraculous recovery from the terminal illness he found he had in the first game, how the cure is actually, well, a spoiler, and how Kraven the Hunter has turned up in the city trying to find the ultimate prey (and finds the array of supervillains he hunts first are somewhat disappointing). The gameplay, however, is the same super athletic baddie juggling and/or Batman Arkham style sneaky takedowns as before, just for different reasons.

So far, I’ve met and nearly died at the hands of Venom, beaten the Lizard and Kraven, completed Sandman’s “mission”, and taken down (mostly) the cult that I’m pretty certain is going to return in Spider-Man 3 led by Carnage. Oh, and saved a museum from closure because I found a stolen sax-a-ma-phone.

Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time (Switch 2)

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Aaaaand I’m done. Yes, I completed it a couple of weeks ago, but I had to go back and do some more, getting my different Lives levelled up and completing some of the side missions and ranking up regions in Ginormosa. I also collected the remaining Strangelings, and delved to deeper depths in the dungeon tree.

But, I realised – everything now is just grinding. There’s no purpose to anything. Sure, I can get to higher levels, and get better weapons, but why? It doesn’t really do anything. Grinding to achieve something is (mostly) fine, but grinding just to make numbers go up for no reward (there’s no more story content either) seems… pointless.

Maybe I’ll go back in at some point, because it wasn’t that I wasn’t enjoying things any more, it was just that I had no purpose and I’ve still got a big pile of other games vying for attention.

Virtual Boy Wario Land (Switch 2): COMPLETED!

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Yes! I was one of those idiots that paid SIXTY SIX POUNDS for a piece of plastic that you put your Switch (or Switch 2) in, so you can sit awkwardly while playing games made for one of the worst consoles ever made! It’s like having two red-tinted Game Boys stuck in front of your eyes that you can only really play at a table (or, as I did, on the sofa with a teetering pile of lap cushions), all so you can get a not especially impressive 3D effect in some poorly realised games. Idiot.

Just lookit though. LOOKIT.

Although I’ve never owned a Virtual Boy, I have played on a few and can say that this Switch peripheral manages to recreate the ridiculous of the original flop console admirably. With my Nintendo Online subscription I also get access to 7 games (about a third of those ever released – most of the rest are on the way), and having tried them all only Virtual Boy Wario Land really works.

And, against all the odds, it’s great.

It’s a pretty straightforward platformer, with about 20 levels and some power ups that let you smash blocks or shoot fireballs, but the 3D comes in as there are “front” and “back” layers to the playfield. Much like Mutant Mudds, I suppose, which I know came much later. There are special blocks that “throw” you in and out of the screen, as well as pipes and doorways that sometimes do the same. Some of the levels are almost 3D mazes as you try to find a key to open the lift to the next level. Every few levels you get a boss, which also tends to swap plane in some way or another.

The 3D effect is subtle, but it’s nice. I don’t think the game would have suffered by being a straight Game Boy or SNES title, though. It’s hard to see from the screenshots how well it works because it seems so damn dark and the dual-screen thing (one for each eye) means you lose the 3D completely. But anyway, nice game shame about the delivery mechanism, I suppose.

Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time (Switch 2): COMPLETED!

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Almost exactly 11 years ago, I played and completed (and then played some more) the original Fantasy Life game on the 3DS. I really enjoyed it, and after all this time I was excited to play the sequel.

Only, it isn’t really a sequel. There’s nothing, plot wise at least, that links this game to the previous one. Sure, the mechanics and graphical style are nearly the same, but there’s no story continuation or even, as far as I can tell, any shared characters or history. Actually, “history” is one of the main plot points in “i” (no, it’s never explained what the “i” is for), since the game takes place in two different eras, 1000 years apart. Gameplay-wise, it isn’t too different from before – choose a Life, level up by doing Life related things, complete quests for people, and so on. So it’s similar.

One big difference, is that you’re pretty much forced to change Life (a Life being a trade or character class) as you progress. In the first game, I completed the story without ever swapping from my Paladin Life, but in “i” you can’t do certain story-based things without changing to be a miner or an alchemist or whatever. Swapping between Lives is a big thing, and as each one levels up separately, there’s a lot of grinding. Certainly more than I remember from the original, and my play time – over 50 hours by the end of the game (with some Lives still untouched) compared with less than that to 100% the original – showing it in cold hard stats. Some of that extra time is that there’s more to do, but a lot is grinding.

Thankfully, a lot of the grinding is done by exploring a separate, and huge, game area called Ginormosia. Here you can level up by chopping trees and swording bees and whatever else, unlocking new companions when you complete shrines you find, and making areas of this continent level up too. It’s fun to just wander and complete challenges like fighting or farming while you grind. I also found a way to quickly level up a new Life. Get one of your miner companions to mine ore while you hang around as an artist or carpenter, and when they are done you get a all the XP. With a miner on level 50 and some level 40-50 ore, you can get your “new” Life from level 1 to level 40-odd in minutes.

In terms of plot, there’s stuff about you and your archaeologist mate flying a dragon to an island, then getting separated as you end up in the past, and then lots of back-and-forth between eras while you build a new village in the present (in a definitely not Animal Crossing type way) whilst finding items and advancing your Lives in the past. There’s loads to do, millions of items, weapons, foods and furniture to craft, people to meet, side quests to complete, and that’s before you even hop over into Ginormosia or do the dungeon tree thing or the dream world stuff. What are they? Well, Google exists.

So, I completed the game as (mainly) a Mercenary, swapping to most of the other Lives along the way. I’ve already made a start on trying to get them all up to at least Expert rank, and have started the other Lives too. Still lots to do, and still having a lot of fun. Is it as good as the original Fantasy Life, though? Well, there’s certainly more, but I’d say overall, it loses a bit of focus as a result. Still excellent, but not quite as excellent.