Back in April, when I completed Vice City, I posited that I might try playing San Andreas in “a few months”. It has now been a few months, and I’m not playing it. I have a bit of a mental blocker on that game, partially around the setting, but also because I remember when it was released that there were countless reviews evangelising the detail they’d gone into, with you needing to regularly work out to keep fit, and eat healthily, and so on. It sounded too involved, and even if that’s not the case, it’s prevented me from playing it.

And so I went back to Vice City, to finish off side missions and collect stuff.

My first objective was to collect the hidden packages. Throughout playing the game, I’d found just over fifty of them, but the other forty were evidently too well hidden. I used a map guide to travel around the city and find them, and eventually I came to the end of the list … and still only had 95. I had to retrace my steps, eventually realising that I mist have failed to save at some point after collecting packages in the airport, because there were five of them still sitting there.

Collecting all the packages unlocked a military helicopter at the South end of the first island, so I spent some time flying around and blowing stuff up, including the annoying planes carrying banners over the city. I got a nice big wanted level, which I then got rid of by landing on the roof of my mansion and running in to change my clothes.

I then bought the car showroom, and found all the cars required by its clients, including the ice cream truck and pizza delivery bike. The biggest issue I had on this was with the games in Little Haiti, who all hate me for some reason and blew up two of their gang cars when I tried to steal them.

And then I went to the Malibu Club and tried to complete the missions there. I got stuck here before – there’s a mission where you have to break someone out of the police station, and I was being shot to pieces as soon as I entered. It’s a lot easier if you go in without a gun in your hand, and then run straight into the locket room to get a police uniform on. Once you open the cells, they still try to kill you – but I had a fast car parked outside, and a route to a pay and spray planned, so I managed to finish that … only to get stuck on another mission where you have to race someone through the city, with the police trying to ram you (and not him) off the road.

I’m nearly done with this now.

There’s a new temporary mode on Rocket League, with some sort of collaboration with the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. Yes, I said Hero. It’s similar to Snow Day, but played on a split-goal field and with a giant pizza instead of the puck, and you can’t jump, and you have a grapple hook which regenerates over time, and boost which also regenerates. So not that much like Snow Day.

I’m not a huge fan, because of the lack of jumping and aerials, but the game I’ve embedded below was pretty good fun.

You will note that most of my team left, and then were replaced, after a couple of minutes when we were a couple of goals down. They don’t know what they missed out on.

I’ve never completed Vice City, and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because some of the later missions have a huge difficulty spike, or maybe it’s because the mission structures aren’t quite as well defined as in GTA3. More than once I’ve found myself at a bit of a loss as to what to do next, with a main story missions appearing at first as a side quest. Maybe it’s because Vice City is such a fun place to drive around, watching people interacting with each other and the gangs, chasing people who are being pursued by the police and getting a “good citizen bonus” for knocking them down (and then more and more bonuses for kicking them again and again). There’s more to do here than in Liberty City, with businesses to buy and shops to rob and a golf course to tear around in a buggy.

But, similar to when I played GTA3, over the past couple of years I’ve been picking at missions from time to time, and I’m not at a position where I think the end of the game is nigh. Tommy Vercetti owns the mansion in the middle of the map, many of the gangs have been beaten down, and I am left with a single mission marker.

Yet when I go there, there is nothing to start.

I last did a mission in which I had to steal some police uniforms and a car, then go and plant a bomb in the shopping centre. I did that, then ran away very fast, with a five-star wanted level (which I knocked down to two-star by planning an escape route through some police bribe markers). That was all fine, but nothing else opened up. I did get a phone call, but it seemed unrelated to the story.

I am hoping that the game hasn’t bugged out. In the meantime I’m travelling around finishing some of the side missions I hadn’t done before – buying a couple of the properties (not the Malibu Club though, it’s far too expensive), carrying out an assassination contract, and racing around in a fire engine. It’s very pretty.