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Grand Theft Auto Vice City: completed!

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It turns out that pootling around finishing up side missions was actually the right thing to do. I started by finishing up the taxi and ice cream van missions, unlocking the regular payments from them, then I headed for the golf club to see if there was anything more to do there. It turns out that there wasn’t, but I jumped in a boat and found myself on Prawn Island where there was a film studio in need of some tender care. Tender care through the production of tender movies, apparently, but fortunately Tommy Vercetti isn’t the sort of man to be directly involved in those – there’s no hot coffee here – and the missions associated with the film studio were altogether more entertaining and varied.

Two in particular stood out. First, I had to pilot a plane around the city, dropping leaflets advertising the new film along set routes. Second, I had to take a motorbike up in a lift and jump out an office block window in order to land on another building’s roof, and then follow a path of jumps and ramps around until I finally got to a spotlight – which I could again use to advertise. Why I couldn’t just fly there in a helicopter, I’ll never know, particularly because a later mission at the studio had me using one to follow someone to take blackmail photos.

I raised a lot of money through these side missions, so I went to buy the Malibu Club, and completed the missions there as well. Finishing those, and unlocking the earning potential of the venue, suddenly gave me a new marker on the map, next to the Vercetti mansion. So, naturally, I didn’t go there.

It’s always fun to set cars on fire, and then set the fire engine on fire when it comes to help. Fire.

I went and did some other stuff instead. I searched around for hidden packages, to limited success. I delivered pizzas, I robbed some stores, I managed to complete a course over the rooftops using a dirtbike, I went to the shooting range. And then I decided to try to finish the game.

It took me many attempts. The last mission sees you being betrayed by a good friend and meeting the city’s main crime lord, with many enemies attacking and trying to ambush you. The shotgun came in very useful as I chased Lance up the corridors to the roof. The mafia were trying to steal cash from the safe every time I left it, so my foray up to the roof was kept as brief as possible, although I had to progress slowly to avoid being shot by a seemingly endless supply of enemies. At last I killed Lance, after sniping him from a higher platform, and then returned to meet Sonny and kill him as well. Mr Extravagant Lawyer found me sitting on the stairs, and we walked out the front door to the sounds of the 80s.

On to San Andreas next? Maybe. I’ve never played it; I own it for Xbox and PS2 and Xbox 360 and Xbox One and PS4 and PC, but the setting has always put me off a bit. I like the mafia setting of III, and I like the 80s Miami setting of Vice City, but 90s rap culture has never captured my imagination. Maybe I’ll try it in a few months.

Grand Theft Auto Vice City: the second island

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I’ve never completed Vice City, and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because some of the later missions have a huge difficulty spike, or maybe it’s because the mission structures aren’t quite as well defined as in GTA3. More than once I’ve found myself at a bit of a loss as to what to do next, with a main story missions appearing at first as a side quest. Maybe it’s because Vice City is such a fun place to drive around, watching people interacting with each other and the gangs, chasing people who are being pursued by the police and getting a “good citizen bonus” for knocking them down (and then more and more bonuses for kicking them again and again). There’s more to do here than in Liberty City, with businesses to buy and shops to rob and a golf course to tear around in a buggy.

But, similar to when I played GTA3, over the past couple of years I’ve been picking at missions from time to time, and I’m not at a position where I think the end of the game is nigh. Tommy Vercetti owns the mansion in the middle of the map, many of the gangs have been beaten down, and I am left with a single mission marker.

Yet when I go there, there is nothing to start.

I’ve been enjoying the variety of missions, but the instant death in water means I am overly anxious on a boat

I last did a mission in which I had to steal some police uniforms and a car, then go and plant a bomb in the shopping centre. I did that, then ran away very fast, with a five-star wanted level (which I knocked down to two-star by planning an escape route through some police bribe markers). That was all fine, but nothing else opened up. I did get a phone call, but it seemed unrelated to the story.

I am hoping that the game hasn’t bugged out. In the meantime I’m travelling around finishing some of the side missions I hadn’t done before – buying a couple of the properties (not the Malibu Club though, it’s far too expensive), carrying out an assassination contract, and racing around in a fire engine. It’s very pretty.

Just Cause: just about playable

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I have had Just Cause sitting in a variety of places for a while - in the PS2 games box in the loft, in my Steam library on my PC, and on my Xbox 360 shelves - but despite the fact that I've heard it to be great fun and the sequel is an amazing sandbox experience, I've never played it.  Until now.

I decided to play the PS2 version, since my PS3 (which is backwards-compatible) was set up and my 360 wasn't (due to the Wii being plugged in to the component inputs for Luigi's Mansion; yes, it's complicated).  The opening cinematics looked pretty awful, but once I got control of my character I was quite impressed by the scale of the game and its vision.  Parachuting down to the island was a pretty spectacular start, and once I transitioned into running along the beach and stealing a car, I could see that there were clear open-world GTA influences at play.

Unfortunately, the PS2 was a bit underpowered for such a grand vision.  The framerate was, at times, awful - to the extent that I actually had to run away and stand still for the console to catch up.  This was not helped by the controls which were not nearly customisable enough, and felt very imprecise.

That's not to say I didn't have fun.  After a while I was given a grappling hook, with which I could grab onto cars and paraglide behind them.  That was good fun for a while, and useful on a mission where I had to destroy a car and take the place of the now-dead dignitary.  The main issue with the game was a lack of a sense of urgency; you are going to kill a dictator and free the island, sure, but there was little spurring you on to do this, and the game was almost too non-linear with no clear sense of direction.

If I go back to it it would be on the 360, but I may skip to the sequel.

Gaming moments: I

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Ico (PS2, PS3)

I even remember writing about this on my blog.  I'll paste some text from the previous post:

Ico starts off slowly, with a long cutscene. You get thrown into a murky world and have to work out the controls. The world's not actually murky, but playing it on my HD TV certainly made it look so. I worked my way through the castle, until I found the girl in white. I knocked the cage down the tower, and rescued her from the shadow monsters. I then couldn't find a way out of the room. Huh.

Never mind, I thought, I'll come back to that later. I'd been playing for 40 minutes or so. I turned the console off, and then thought ... hmm, I wonder if the game does save at checkpoints?

Evidently not.

Ikaruga (GameCube)
I have only ever played this for five minutes, and it made my head hurt. 

Gaming moments: E

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Essential Sudoku DS (DS)

After competing 999 picross puzzles, there was one left.  Surely the pinnacle of difficulty, it's surely going to be a trophy or medal or something special.  Oh no, it's really easy and it's a pie chart.  A bloody pie chart.

Earth Defense Force 2017 (Xbox 360)
Earth Defense Force 2017 Portable (PS Vita)

Both games have many highlights, but the thing I will remember most is the mission in which you are sent into battle against the massive walking fortress.  I destroyed more of the city than the fortress did while trying to attack it, and finally the mission ends with you withdrawing because your weapons aren't powerful enough.  Sorry I broke the Space Needle for nothing, guys.

Exit (PSP)

One of the characters you have to rescue is very fat. I called him Fatty.  I pushed boxes onto him.  He died.

Ecolibrium (PS Vita)

Playing on the train, on the tutorial.  And then the game requires me to look around 180 degrees with my Vita to see the animals behind me.  Not going to happen; never loaded up again.

Endless Ocean (Wii)

I recently went back to this as part of the "Au Revoir Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection" drive, which was pointless as the only online mode it has is to connect to a friend who is simultaneously playing the game; that will never have happened.  Anyway, during my brief play I watched the most stilted and awkward cutscene ever made.

EyeToy: Play (PS2)

Accompanying the cleaning suds game with "When I'm Cleaning Windows" was a work of genius.