It turns out that pootling around finishing up side missions was actually the right thing to do. I started by finishing up the taxi and ice cream van missions, unlocking the regular payments from them, then I headed for the golf club to see if there was anything more to do there. It turns out that there wasn’t, but I jumped in a boat and found myself on Prawn Island where there was a film studio in need of some tender care. Tender care through the production of tender movies, apparently, but fortunately Tommy Vercetti isn’t the sort of man to be directly involved in those – there’s no hot coffee here – and the missions associated with the film studio were altogether more entertaining and varied.
Two in particular stood out. First, I had to pilot a plane around the city, dropping leaflets advertising the new film along set routes. Second, I had to take a motorbike up in a lift and jump out an office block window in order to land on another building’s roof, and then follow a path of jumps and ramps around until I finally got to a spotlight – which I could again use to advertise. Why I couldn’t just fly there in a helicopter, I’ll never know, particularly because a later mission at the studio had me using one to follow someone to take blackmail photos.
I raised a lot of money through these side missions, so I went to buy the Malibu Club, and completed the missions there as well. Finishing those, and unlocking the earning potential of the venue, suddenly gave me a new marker on the map, next to the Vercetti mansion. So, naturally, I didn’t go there.






I went and did some other stuff instead. I searched around for hidden packages, to limited success. I delivered pizzas, I robbed some stores, I managed to complete a course over the rooftops using a dirtbike, I went to the shooting range. And then I decided to try to finish the game.
It took me many attempts. The last mission sees you being betrayed by a good friend and meeting the city’s main crime lord, with many enemies attacking and trying to ambush you. The shotgun came in very useful as I chased Lance up the corridors to the roof. The mafia were trying to steal cash from the safe every time I left it, so my foray up to the roof was kept as brief as possible, although I had to progress slowly to avoid being shot by a seemingly endless supply of enemies. At last I killed Lance, after sniping him from a higher platform, and then returned to meet Sonny and kill him as well. Mr Extravagant Lawyer found me sitting on the stairs, and we walked out the front door to the sounds of the 80s.
On to San Andreas next? Maybe. I’ve never played it; I own it for Xbox and PS2 and Xbox 360 and Xbox One and PS4 and PC, but the setting has always put me off a bit. I like the mafia setting of III, and I like the 80s Miami setting of Vice City, but 90s rap culture has never captured my imagination. Maybe I’ll try it in a few months.