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Sküljagger (Evercade): COMPLETED!

Posted on 05/05/2024 Written by deKay

Sküljagger (no, I’d never heard of it either) is a Bad Game. Originally a SNES game which seemed to have been completely ignored at the time, it’s yet another 16-bit platform with literally nothing going for it. It seems to have a pirate theme or maybe a viking theme or who actually knows, or cares? You have a sword and have platforms to navigate. Wow. Even at the time this can’t have been more than a 5/10 title.

It’s janky and the collision detection is rubbish, the levels are dull and repetitive, enemies appear out of nowhere to kill you, there are several power-ups all of which are useless, and the walls of text between levels are badly written. Or translated? Or both.

So why did I play it to the end? Because I don’t know. Don’t judge me.

Filed Under: Gaming Diary Tagged With: completed, Diary, evercade, retro

Gal Guardians: Demon Purge (Switch): COMPLETED!

Posted on 05/05/2024 Written by deKay

Why yes, this is another Metroidvania style game! And yes, it’s another one based on a different game, this time Gal*Gun by Inti Creates. Inti Creates, who have made some of my favourite platformers (including some other Metroidvanias) like Azure Striker Gunvolt and Blaster Master Zero. Of course I’m going to buy it.

The ‘hing with Demon Purge, which differentiates it from all the other “explore a castle” games is that you control two characters at once, each with different skills and abilities. The two main differences are that one has a gun, and so can attack from a distance, and the other wields ningyogami (or something similar) in a way that essentially works like a sword. Also, one has half the health of the other.

The story takes the characters from Gal*Gun (which I don’t know), sticks them in a school, and then in that usual Japanese way the school itself becomes a portal into some other world full of demons and monsters. Same old story. You have to rescue your classmates, unlocking new abilities like a hover, an air dash, and a grappling hook as you progress and using them to reach new areas and secrets. Like all the other Metroidvanias.

If you’re a fan of the genre, like me, this is great. It’s fun, a bit unusual, and even has references to Castlevania (like the clock tower and the long external staircase to the final boss). There’s also a secret ending if you do certain side quests, which I managed to do.

Filed Under: Gaming Diary Tagged With: completed, Diary, metroidvania, switch

Nour (PS5): COMPLETED!

Posted on 30/04/2024 Written by deKay

What even is this? I’ve completed it and I’m still not sure. I think it fits into the same sort of category as something like Electroplankton or Noby Noby Boy where although there is a goal of sorts, it’s the toy you play with along the way that’s the real game.

In Nour, you’re given a large restaurant table, and each plate on it takes you to a different scenario. In each, the controller buttons spawn different food and drink items, so you might be able to build a burger from component parts, or populate a stew with meat and vegetables. You may be expecting this to therefore resemble Cook, Serve, Delicious! or Cooking Mama, but no – it’s all sorts of weird instead.

For starters (that’s a restaurant joke there) you don’t have set meals to make. It also doesn’t seem to matter how or even what you make, even if it’s a horrible mess. In fact, just spamming the buttons eventually causes a jellyfish to appear, it then steals one of your items, and things get a bit trippy. There’s also some musical toy component to the game, as spawning items makes noises, and doing it rhythmically makes even more trippiness happen. Then there’s the tools to make things bigger or smaller, or chuck them about.

Look, it’s very strange and I’m not able to describe it fully.

The aim appears to be to make all the jellyfish happy or satisfied or I don’t know what, and then you can progress onto the next plate where you can bung stuff in a microwave or make smoothies with meat cubes in or re-enact a HowToBasic video with unlimited eggs. Do all the plates, and it’s time for the credits.

Is it a game? A toy? A very abstract musical instrument? A soothing bubblewrap/fidget spinner alternative? I don’t bloody know.

Filed Under: Gaming Diary Tagged With: completed, Diary, ps+, ps5, psn

The Little Tales of Alexandria (Evercade): COMPLETED!

Posted on 22/04/2024 Written by deKay

This game is a very short narrative discovery game for the Game Boy, released on an Evercade Indie Heroes cartridge. You’re a girl in a block of flats, you talk to people, find cats, and then it ends.

There’s not really much else to say. It has some charm, but there’s very little here even for this genre, and it’s a bit clunky and collision detection is all over the place. My guess is it’s built on an engine like Deadeus was, but not as successfully.

Filed Under: Gaming Diary Tagged With: completed, Diary, evercade

Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition (Switch): COMPLETED!

Posted on 21/04/2024 Written by deKay

I’m definitely in the mood for roleplaying games this year, so Xenoblade Chronicles – a game I already have, unplayed, for the 3DS – came to mind. Of course, I couldn’t play the 3DS version when a newer, better, more complete version exists, so I had to buy that. Naturally, it has never seen much of a price drop but after a few weeks of checking sites for cheap copies an Italian version came up on eBay for £23, less than half the usual going price. Thankfully, it has an English option, and so here we are.

Going into a 50+ hour RPG can be pretty daunting. That’s a big ol’ time sink for a start, but it’s also “what if it’s too hard and I can’t complete it?”, or “what if it’s terrible?”. Reviews suggested the latter wasn’t likely to be true and being an RPG you can always grind levels for any hard bits, but very quickly I hit a bit of a wall – I hated the combat.

Traditionally, any JRPG to me has turn based combat. You could also (incorrectly) argue that games like The Legend of Zelda are RPGs (they’re not) and so are action based combat. Then you have western RPGs like Fallout 3 or Knights of the Old Republic which have their own systems with Action Points and semi-real-time combat. Xenoblade is different. And I didn’t like it.

You see, when you trigger a fight (ideally by sneaking up behind a baddie and slashing your sword at them) you move into what superficially appears to a be real-time fight where you can move as much as you want and attack when you want and physically dodge rather than (seemingly) hidden dice-rolls determining actions and success. Except it isn’t like that, as although you can use one of your various attacks (and buffs, debuffs and heals) each one has a cooldown. There’s a bar along the bottom of the screen with your moves listed, and you spend 95% of each fight looking at and selecting things on this bar rather than the action unfolding, and it’s just weird.

Or at least it was until something clicked: This is basically the same combat system as in Eternal Sonata.

Now I realise you, dear reader, are about to be shouting in the comments about how Final Fantasy have been doing this for years and how it’s used in Kingdom Hearts and it’s really common or something. But I haven’t played those to any degree. I have, however, played Eternal Sonata. Anyway, following this revelation, it was fine. Well, I mean, the game operating through a set of icons along the bottom of the screen was still a bit odd but gameplay-wise, all good.

With all that out of the way, what about the actual game, eh? Unfortunately that got off to a bad start too, as within minutes of actually taking control of my character, I’d unlocked twelvetentymillion quests. Which was more than a little overwhelming. And they just kept coming. Luckily, they’re dealt with in a really clever way, in a nice checklist which you can turn quest tracking on and off for with map icons and instructions and reminders. I believe this is a system from the later Xenoblade games which was backported to this remaster of the Wii original, where the old quest tracking system was essentially unusable. Yay for waiting to play a later version! So, like the combat, I was won over and ticking all the boxes became a fun obsession rather than an irritating chore like it appeared at first.

Xenoblade Chronicles is a big game. Sure, I mean that in that it’s a huge RPG, and I also mean in that it’s an epic storyline, but I really mean that the whole world is set on (and in) the body of two massive titans – Bionis, a creature of earth and nature, and Mechonis, a being of gears and metal. Areas explored and encountered are on the leg, or hand, or inside the chest of these creatures. In the distant past of the world of Xenoblade, these two giants fought, and ultimately both “died”. The Xenoblade of the title was the weapon of choice for the Bionis, and it’s this that Shulk – tiny human that he is – ends up wielding himself. Yes, somehow it’s a lot smaller when Shulk holds it, although like most JRPGs it’s still hilariously oversized.

Anyway, Doings are Afoot, and it seems that the denizens of Mechonis (mostly robots) have been sent to war with those (mostly humans) of Bionis, and they’re near indestructible without the power of the Xenoblade. So begins Shulk’s quest to avenge the apparent death of his friend, and he travels the world to reach Mechonis and defeat the Big Bad. Only, of course, there are more twists than a telephone cable and things aren’t as straightforward as it seems.

This plays out in a fairly standard JRPG way – reach new areas, get new friends (some of whom join your party) and foes (or are they?), fight increasingly more powerful baddies, complete side quests, rebuild a city, make embarrassed faces when any sort of physical attraction might be construed, get progressively more powerful yourself, augment your clothes and weapons with stones that boost various stats, and so on. You know the deal.

Fights are complex, with three characters to keep track of (although you can only directly control your leader), combos to try and build, and a system of staggering, knocking over, and paralysing baddies which require certain attacks in specific orders to achieve – and they’re necessary for some baddies or they just won’t take damage at all. All this while there is so much chatter. Reyn constantly yelling “Now it’s Reyn time!”, Sharla peppering every fight with “My rifle’s getting hotter!” and so on. It’s a bit much after 80 hours. There is some funny (for a while…) bants though, mainly involving Riki the catmouseturnipbear thing. Behold the “Riki Need Paws!” exchange:

I’ve made a few comments now where it suggests I didn’t like the game. I haven’t mentioned the slightly annoying fetch quests, or the sometimes dodgy graphics (mainly when close up or in caves), or the fact you often have to wait until a certain time of day (there’s a full day/night cycle in the game) to talk to people. You would be wrong – it was bloody brilliant, warts and all.

The plot, especially the resolution, is utterly mental. The twists along the way are whaaaaaaa? in the extreme. But it works somehow. The gameplay is solid, the just one more area carrot is strong. The areas, when there are big open vistas are gorgeous, with some very Breath of the Wild vibes. The soundtrack is great, the main characters are brilliant (although “Shulk” is the worst name in all of creation) and it’s just fun. I may have taken a very long time to come to the Xenoblade party, but after 90-odd hours of it I’ve definitely arrived and look forward to some Xenoblade Chronicles 2. Once I can find a cheap Italian copy, of course.

Oh, and to explicitly answer the two concerns at the start of this post – it was easy, and I did like it. Phew, eh?

Filed Under: Gaming Diary Tagged With: completed, Diary, switch, xenoblade

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96: Magic Beans
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What is this word “late” which you are saying? I do not recognise it and I do not understand it and I do not wish to believe it exists! Episode 96 cannot be late, for it was never scheduled. Sir, you embarrass yourself.

Arguments about timetabling aside, we would like to invite you to enjoy this most recent (at time of typing) episode of your favourite podcast! deKay, Kendrick and Orrah huddled round a warm bucket of cocoa and discussed, to varying lengths, the important news of our time – including Nintendo’s Mario Direct, more unfortunate developers losing their jobs because Money, Microsoft increasing the price of Game Pass (again, because Money) and Starbreeze getting several years into developing an eagerly anticipated Dungeons & Dragons game before pulling the plug because, well, Money. Thankfully, there’s some Good Stuff too, like chat about these games.

96: Magic Beans
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