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Star Trek Online (PS5): COMPLETED!

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As it turns out, it is possible to complete Star Trek Online, and it’s possible to do it without paying any money at all. Because that’s what I did.

I know that for many people, the game here is all the endgame content, playing with others, doing the same missions over and over and collecting all the ships and stuff. That’s not for me. I reached the cap of level 65, then finished all the single play missions remaining, and that’s it. And it was mostly OK?

I’m still baffled how buggy it is, especially since some of the bugs I came across were there and reported on the official forums three or four years ago, and how clunky it all is. The menus are unwieldy and the menu navigation controls clearly suffer from controller rather than mouse use. The animations are PS2 level woodeness, characters randomly stand on chairs and tables (or sometimes, inside walls, doors or furniture), and getting stuck inside asteroids or rocky outcrops in caves is such a frequent issue that rather than fix it, they included a “warp somewhere nearby” option in the menu called “I am stuck”.

It’s repetitive. It’s broken. It’s ugly. And, although this isn’t the game’s fault, it doesn’t even fit into the Star Trek universe any more. But I enjoyed it enough to spend what is probably 125+ hours on it so I suppose it must have done something right?

49: Bobby Kotick’s Hitman

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It’s time for Episode 49 and oh boy do we have what can only be described as “two and bit hours of noise” for you!

In this episode, deKay, Tim, Toby and Kendrick delight you with outstanding (but somewhat truncated compared to previous years) not-late-at-all E3 hot facts, chat about how much Bobby Kotick is worth dead or alive, Tencent’s investment in Yager and why this is an important step for Chinese culture promotion (no, really), Switch download issues, XCloud, and the real reason you tune in: ZX Vega+ news! Oh, and these games:

  • Forza Horizon 3
  • Cities Skylines
  • Wonder Boy: Asha in Monster World
  • LOVE – A Puzzle Box Filled with Stories
  • Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime
  • Animal Crossing
  • Alwa’s Awakening
  • Fist of the North Star: Lost Paradise
  • Star Trek Online
  • Dungeons and Dragons Dark Alliance
  • Shin Megami Tensei III HD

Plus your questions answered, including the longest discussion on deKay’s favourite topic (toilets in video games) you’re likely to hear on a podcast any time soon.

(Direct link here)

Don’t forget, if you want to contact us with questions or comments for or about the show, you can email podcast@ugvm.org.uk or publicly shame us @ugvmpodcast on the Twittors.

Alwa’s Awakening (Switch): COMPLETED!

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In my side-quest to play more Metroidvania games (which I didn’t realise was a side-quest but it seems to have become one in recent months), I was looking through lists of well-regarded, eShop-available, games in the genre. Listed frequently was Alwa’s Legacy, so I didn’t buy that as I found it was a sequel to Alwa’s Awakening which was about £2.50 so I bought that instead.

And I’m glad I did because although it does nothing special, it’s a solid and enjoyable game with some unusual ideas for the genre. Firstly, it’s built with a NES aesthetic (in fact, there is a NES version which was developed recently) with limited colours and two button controls. Nothing new there, but it’s a good example of how to do that well.

Any Metroidvania needs to have decent unlockable powers to make things interesting, and Alwa’s Awakening manages to do this without opting for the staple double-jump. In fact, there are only three powers – create a block (which you can push or stand on), create a bubble (which rises and you can hop on briefly), and shoot a lightning bolt. The block is upgraded later so it can be used as a raft in water, and the bubble improved so you can ride it until you bang your head, but that’s it. It does a lot with these though, including some tricky platforming sections which see you switching magic on the fly, puzzles where you have to create blocks and push blocks in specific ways, and unusual methods of defeating difficult bosses.

Importantly, it has the “colouring in the map” mechanic that is so important to these games, and there are hidden and semi-hidden secrets to double the damage you can do and orbs to collect which can knock some HP off bosses before you start.

It’s also a lot longer than I was expecting. I thought I was in for a couple of hours, but it was nearer 8 when beat the final boss and I suspect there’s a different ending once I return and find the remaining handful of orbs I’d missed.

Picross S3 (Switch): COMPLETED!

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More Picross, innit.

I mean, I’m not really sure what else there is to say. I think it’s the longest of the Jupiter-made games, as it took me over 35 hours to do all the puzzles, and it also introduces colour picross to the series. I didn’t like the slight change in logic at first, but it soon clicked and then I wished there were more of them.

Much as I love picross, I think I might give them a little break now before I pick up Picross S4!

Human Fall Flat (Switch): COMPLETED!

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This is one of those games I’ve had my eye on for ages but for whatever reason have never bought. Well, I probably have it on Steam or something but that doesn’t count. Anyway, it was on offer this week and has recently had yet another level added and I’d just finished Scott Pilgrim and wanted another co-op game so it all fell into place and, well, here we are.

Human Fall Flat is one of those purposefully awkward to control physics based games, like Surgeon Simulator or Octodad. The idea is just to reach the end of each level, but to do so requires manipulating (read: flailing around with) objects and switches and the occasional vehicle. Or connecting cables or pipes up, or making difficult jumps with your waddley man who has no climbing skills but can just about pull himself up if you manage to grab the edge of a platform. Imagine a normal 3D platformer only you control your character’s arms directly. with the trigger buttons and right stick. It’s tricky.

switchI remember this scene from Jaws.

In a “normal” game, you’d press a button to turn a wheel, or press a button to use a key. Here, you have to grab the wheel and move the arm, or patiently line the key up exactly in the keyhole then grab and rotate the key. It’s not quite frustrating, but does get close. It gets even closer when your daughter is playing supposedly co-op, but in fact, gets in the way just to annoy. Unplugs the cable I spent ages lining up. Runs off with the axe we need to chop downa. tree. Or, and this is my favourite of all her irritating doings, grabs my leg just as I leap off something, preventing me from making the jump, and plummeting to both our deaths. Again.

But it’s very good, silly fun.

I came in like a wrecking ball.