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Wardner (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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Although it wasn’t often I came across Wardner in the arcades, it was a game I played whenever I got the chance. I don’t know why though, because it’s so hard my ten pee would last mere seconds. Now, with the advent of Press Select to Insert Coin, I can just slot unlimited magic money into the machine! The future!

Playing it now, I realise that it’s actually quite a lot like Alex Kidd. No janken, of course, and you can shoot, but similar. It’s also not really all that good. It’s clearly designed to extract all your money with the difficulty and the jumping precision needed for many of the gaps. The final level is also really hard as it’s effectively a maze, and the already paltry time limit really doesn’t help. Plus there are trap floors to send you round in a circle. Again. And rocks you can’t see that fall on your head if you go up the wrong ladders.

Then, the final boss himself is an absolute swearword. He chucks flames at you, which you can dodge but you’ve got to be both very quick and pixel perfect to pull it off. Not fun at all and certainly a trillion pounds worth of coins needed.

Cybernoid (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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This week, the next two Evercade cartridges arrived. Cybernoid is on the new C64 cart, and I was a big fan of the original (albeit on the Spectrum) so it’s the first thing I started up. Thankfully, the Commodore version is very similar to the Spectrum one, although with more muted colours and a different ship design.

It’s still a pretty good game, although it’s very easy to die due to the random nature of some of the spawns. For example, baddies spawn at the edge of the screen – the same edge you need to exit by – and so frequently they’ll appear in the same spot you occupy, killing you. The random bullet frequency from some turrets can mean timing nipping between them is based on luck rather than judgment too.

Another spanner in the works is special attacks. You’re given a number of things like mines, bouncy bombs and so on, some of which are required to hit destructible blocks above or below you as your cannon only shoots horizontally. But you only have a limited number of uses of each, meaning you can end up in a room with no way to progress, no way to return, and no enemies to shoot (as killing them sometimes drops refills). Very frustrating, and means that you end up never using any special attacks except for in the situations where you can’t otherwise progress.

And it is very hard.

Other than all those things though, I very much enjoyed playing it again after all this time. It’s one of those games that just loops infinitely, so after about 4 loops through the game I’m claiming “done”.

Kid Chameleon (Switch): COMPLETED!

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It’s been a while, but with it recently popping up on the Switch Online service, I gave it another go. This time, I’d remembered how damn difficult it was, but even so, a few later levels (especially one which was an autoscroller) are properly brutal.

Yes, I used save states. You have to, and not even because it is difficult – it’s just so, so long and there aren’t any built-in save options or passwords or anything. All you can do is make use of a cheat where you skip from level 2 to the end boss. I did that, obviously, but then started again and played it properly.

It still stands up pretty well today. Collision detection is a bit hit and miss (oho!), and the music is mostly dire, but the platforming and the hat powers you get are both fun. All the baddies that shout DIE! at you a lot is also funny.

Bionic Commando (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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I’m pretty sure I’ve only ever played the NES version of this before, and my understanding is that it’s very different. Perhaps you can even jump in that? You can’t in this, the original arcade version, in any case. (EDIT: You can’t jump in the NES version either. Curious.)

So, as I’m finding with these Capcom arcade games on the Evercade EXP, Bionic Commando is another money-eater. There’s no way in hell you’re supposed to be able to finish this without dying more times than numbers exist for – you just have to keep feeding it (virtual) coins. Well, after the first level or so anyway, as until then it’s probably possible.

The gameplay is a bit hit and miss. You can’t jump, so can only traverse by shooting out your bionic arm to grapple platforms and then pull yourself up or over. Problem is, baddies keep getting in the way. And some of the gaps are almost impossible to get into the right place for. And the responsiveness and collision detection appear to be all over the place. But just keep those e-10p pieces coming and eventually you’ll get to the end, like I did.

Not a great game, it has to be said. Was it ever?

Kirby’s Dream Land 2 (Switch): COMPLETED!

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After completing the first Kirby’s Dream Land (again) recently, Nintendo were kind enough to put the sequel up on their Switch Online service for me to play. And oh my did they add a lot to the game.

In Kirby’s Dream Land 2, Kirby now has his trademark enemy ability duplication capabilities, but there’s also an overworld, way more levels, and three “animal friends” for Kirby to ride. A fish, a hamster and an owl, who have their own abilities – the owl can fly, the hamster can (of course) walk on ice without slipping, and so on. On top of that, though, they too take on the powers of enemies in varying ways. It means there’s much, much more to the game than the original, which is great.

It’s still very, very easy though. As in, I didn’t die once. Not that it really matters. And I didn’t access all the secret areas (many of which require you gaining a friend or power from another level first), which would add some difficulty. Fun though.