I can’t tell you about this game too much because it will spoil it for you. What I can say, it’s a sort of simplified Trials game (you know, that motorbike on a 2D track thing) but also that it isn’t.

It’s also not very long, is very free (on Steam), and it’s by Nifflas who you might know from such games as Knytt and Affordable Space Adventure.

Rental is (or at least, was at time of writing, who knows what the Terrifying Future holds) a free game on Steam and nothing is more important in gaming than low, low prices. So why the hell not, eh?

Perhaps the best way to describe the game, assuming you can’t see the screenshots here, is What if Animal Crossing was Resident Evil on the PS1? Or maybe, Silent Hill: Sylvanian Families. It has the cute animals and the quaint little house and then Horrors.

As you take your cute little bunny into this holiday cabin, you quickly realise something isn’t right. In full BBC Ghost Watch style, you catch a glimpse of a thing. Or there’s a noise. Or a voice. It’s a bit creepy, especially given all the tweeity in the graphics.

I won’t spoil what happens, especially as it’s so short so, coupled with the freeness of the game, you’ve no excuse not to discover it for yourself, but after some hunting for items it gets even more disturbing and weird. Do you like cute free games that subvert your expectations and turn disturbing and weird? Then you’ll like Rental.

There seems to be a lot of “find the cats hidden in these pictures” games. I’ve played a few recently, but this one is by a different developer, and is one huge picture rather than a series of connected ones (like A Castle Full of Cats). The idea is the same, though.

Not much more to say, really, aside from as well as finding 100 cats, you can also get an achievement for finding 5 gulls. Which I did. It’s free on Steam if you want to play yourself.

No, I’m serious. I really did play and complete Paw Patrol on a Roll. For Science?

You see, one of the ugvm people bought a charity bundle of games and one of those was Paw Patrol on a Roll. As they were clearly above playing it (or even claiming the code) themselves, it was offered up and naturally I took it. Beholden to play it, I did.

It’s a bad game. I don’t think anyone was expecting anything else, what with the source material, the fact it’s a licenced game, and it’s aimed at four year olds. It’s solid, it looks OK, and if you’re a four year old fan of Dogs Pretending To Be Emergency Services I expect this is great, but otherwise? No.

The main issues revolve around the repetitive nature of the levels and – worse – the soundbites. Every five seconds, some kid with an annoying voice exclaims that “You got the pup treats!” or “I detect a gold paw print!” or other stuff you only need to hear once – if at all. Every level is basically the same: Some really, really simple platforming, with the occasional need to call a different dog to come and clear a path. How these dogs manage to drive their truck or fly their helicopter to the point they’re needed when the only way to reach them is on foot (otherwise why wouldn’t you just drive/fly there?) isn’t made clear. In fact, almost every level could be easily completed with just the pink dog and her helicopter flying directly to the point you need to reach, and all that rubbish platforming could be avoided and the game would be over much more quickly.

Am I sad it’s now all over? No. Was it worth the Zero Pence I paid for it? No. Would I recommend this game to anyone? No.

Once upon a time, in a different era, this game was a viral hit on the Xbox Live Arcade Indie Games service. It was that platform within a platform that let pretty much anyone publish games for the Xbox 360 and sell them for peanuts.

Well, I recently discovered it still exists – for free on Steam! And here we are, after I’ve completed it.

In some way, IMAGWZII is a precursor to the modern phenomenon of “survivors” games. It has a lot in common with twin-stick shooters like Geometry Wars or Smash TV, but it feels “primitive” in the same way Vampire Survivors et al do, what with the graphic style and rough edges. And, of course, it has the REALLY LOUD and VERY BAD theme tune that sings over the top of all the shooting, which is the main reason the game went viral in the first place, I’m sure.

Completing it was a surprise, as I don’t think I ever did on the Xbox and, actually, I thought it was the sort of game that just went on forever, but apparently not!