Hah. As if. And yet, I’ve seen the credits, unlocked the special cup, and have gold trophies displayed for all grands prix and knockout tours. This was done on the medium difficulty. By all my usual metrics, I’ve completed the game.

But Mario Kart’s not like that, and Mario Kart World is doubly not like that. The real game in Mario Kart appears at 150cc, the hardest difficulty level, when not only does your kart travel faster (to the extent that you might, shock, need to use the brake sometimes) but enemies are much more unfair, both in terms of driving ability and item use. In 150cc, I’ve completed four of the grands prix in first place, but never with three stars (which are awarded for being first in each of the four races) – I’ve come close, but a combination of blue shell, red shell and lightning on the final stretch meant I was overtaken by a couple of opponents before crossing the line. The controller survived, just.

The course design is superb. I was wondering how they would build on the last few iterations – which introduced the jump boosts in Wii, flying in 7, and anti-gravity in 8 – since having to include all those elements would get a bit restrictive. Anti-gravity has gone (except in one specific case), and in its place they’ve put in rail grinding and wall riding, allowing for some clever alternative routes and reimagining of older tracks. I’ve noted tracks from the SNES, Gamecube, DS, Wii, and 3DS games, though some are quite different; however, you don’t get to lap around the tracks that much since the races in the grand prix mode include a race to get to the stadium. There are a few occasions where, in order for this to be a single coherent world, the roads to the courses are a bit straight and – almost – boring, but at higher difficulties the threat of blue shells means you never relax.

After the 96 courses of the Switch game (with the booster pack), this game could end up feeling small, but the variety of courses should keep me going for a while yet. I’ve hardly done anything in the free roam mode, where you find challenges and medallions and can experiment with alternative routes, and I’ve only spent one evening online (where my best position was 3rd, and my worst was … 22nd). And I haven’t even worked out how time trial really works in terms of ghosts and friends.

And, finally, multiplayer. On Fathers’ Day I spent two hours playing with Nicholas and Edward, through a number of grands prix and knockout tours. We unlocked loads of costumes, and I won, most of the time. Mario Kart n00bs.