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Dark Arms (Switch): COMPLETED!

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This game is one I have for the NeoGeo Pocket and I remember I enjoyed it at the time, but don’t remember much about it. Aside from you shoot baddies to get souls which upgrade your guns. Seems, now I’ve completed it on the NeoGeo Pocket Colour Selection on the Switch, that really that’s all there is to it.

OK, so not quite. There’s a story which is badly translated and makes little sense, and you don’t just have a gun, you have some other weapons which you can swap between like “a big alien arm thing” and “some sort of shield I think”. But you do just go round various areas like a graveyard and a cave and a haunted house shooting (or “big alien arming”) ghosts, demons, witches, zombies, and other evil and/or undead creatures.

There’s a day and night cycle, with different characters and foes appearing at one or the other, and because of the terrible text in the game it’s a bit tricky to understand what you need to do so you basically have to wander the whole of each area several times over both day and night to make sure you’ve done everything. This may sound tedious, and it is a little, but you have to grind to improve your weapons anyway so it’s actually not too bad.

Then, when you’ve defeated the final boss it turns out that’s not the end of the game as you have to find a load of (harmless but hidden) witches to combine them together to resurrect something which isn’t really explained. So I did that and got the One True Ending.

Dark Arms was, overall, less fun than I remember but I still enjoyed it.

Aggelos (Switch): COMPLETED!

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Or, “I can’t believe it’s not Wonder Boy”. Since it is, in almost every way, a Wonder Boy game. You’re a boy, with a sword, and you collect money and buy better armour and unlock abilities and it looks like a 16 bit Wonder Boy game and it plays like one and sounds like one.

But, it’s a bit slicker. It has a few improvements (like warps). It isn’t as impossible as Wonder Boy in Monster Land. But, it’s still good. Really good.

The plot is generic “find X items and banish the dark”, but it plays out in an explore the overworld, beat four “dungeons” sort of way (so is actually a little more like Zelda II in that respect, I suppose). There are massive bosses, silly side characters, and a pig who runs a pub who says you’re too young to drink there.

There’s no outstanding features, but it’s all well put together and enjoyable in a Metroidvania type way, and I do like games that are in the Metroidvania way,

Big Tournament Golf (Switch): COMPLETED!

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Although I don’t like golf at all, I’ve always enjoyed a good golf game. From PGA European Tour on the Amiga, which I don’t even remember buying, through Mario Gold, NES Golf, Golf Story, and so on. One of my favourites is Neo Turf Masters for the NeoGeo Pocket, which is the Other Region name for this – Big Tournament Golf.

To be enjoyable, golf games need to be simple. Choose a club, aim, press a button to swing, set power, then set accuracy. That’s it. And Big Tournament Golf does exactly this with no fuss. There are three courses, with increasing difficulty, although actually none of them are really very hard. I completed them all over a couple of weeks, coming first in the tournaments for each.

Blaster Master Zero 2 (Switch): COMPLETED!

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It’s been a few years since I completed the first Blaster Master Zero, because for some reason I forgot to buy the sequel. I have now rectified that and so here is my post. Like the original, it was great. Unlike the original, it was more fragmented, in that it was made up of lots of small levels (mostly separate planets) rather than a handful of large maps. It was still Metroidvania-y though, and a lot of fun with some great bosses.

The levels had plenty of variety, with one of them actually existing as two separate levels that had maps that intermingled. Each was in a different “phase”, so that was interesting and unusual.

After completing it, it was clear I got some sort of bad ending, so had to look up how to get the good ending – turns out you have to finish a handful of side missions, which then unlocks the real final boss.

Now to wait for Blaster Master Zero 3 to come down in price!

57: Photorealistic Horse Testicles

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Two episodes in one month? You lucky, lucky people! You’re even more lucky because this episode has no singing in it. Yes, we know it’s only two episodes because we missed January by a day. Shush.

In Episode 57 of Your Least Favourite Video Game Podcast, deKay, Toby, Luffer and Tim expel lexiconic blather from their phizogial orifii on the subjects of, but not limited to, the closure of the 3DS and Wii U digital stores, people not buying PS4 versions of games that have free upgrades to PS5 versions when that’s cheaper than buying the PS5 version, Fun NFT Discussion, Sony’s PSVR2 announcement, the recent Nintendo Direct, and some Steam Deck stuff. And! Some! Games!

  • Red Dead Online: The Rift
  • Jet Set Radio
  • Sonic Adventure
  • Crazy Taxi Fare Wars
  • Need for Speed: Most Wanted
  • Murder by Numbers
  • Pullblox and all the sequels
  • Animal Crossing
  • Millie and Molly
  • Touhou Luna Nights
  • Guardians of the Galaxy
  • Wordle
  • Lair of the Clockwork God
  • Geometry Dash

All that and who knows what else. Oh, yeah, we know what else. That’s who. And you too will know, if you listen. Be appropriately prepped for the incredible Video Game Characters You Can Draw From Memory stuff which absolutely works in an audio medium no really mate can’t see a problem there.

(Direct link here)

Don’t forget, if you want to contact us with questions or comments for or about the show, you can email podcast@ugvm.org.uk or publicly shame us @ugvmpodcast on the Twittors.

Intro Music Credit – “No Guts No Glory” by Star-Lord Band: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i23B8kXYZPA
(no, not the plinkety plonkey bit)