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Azure Striker Gunvolt 3 (Switch): COMPLETED!

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I found out recently that there are no plans to create any more Gunvolt games. Or Blaster Master Zero games. This is a Bad Occurrence, because I very much like them both. What exactly are Inti Creates going to do instead?

Anyway, this game. It’s a bit different to the previous Gunvolt game, in that you don’t play as Gunvolt. Well, not really. Instead, you play as Kirin, a sort of ninja monk who makes use of some of Gunvolt’s abilities (and can temporarily swap him in) while Gunvolt, who was a massive dragon because Reasons tags along as a sort of dog because Other Reasons. It’s set a long time after Gunvolt 2 and in the intervening years GV has been trapped as this dragon and used to power the whole world or something.

Gameplay, however, is pretty much the same as it ever was. Kirin tags baddies with her talismans (talismen?) before dealing damage with her sword, but there’s the same sort of platforming and locking-on, and bosses and stuff as in the previous games. It’s still really good, but I can’t help thinking that if they can spin Copen off into his own series, why can’t they do that with Kirin and keep Gunvolt there as the main character as his own series?

Like Luminous Avenger iX 2 I found this game really easy. None of the bosses were difficult at all, and I don’t think I died the entire game. Far cry from the older games, and getting the “good ending” here was just a case of not attacking the end of game boss at specific points, rather than a whole pile of difficult things.

Wardner (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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Although it wasn’t often I came across Wardner in the arcades, it was a game I played whenever I got the chance. I don’t know why though, because it’s so hard my ten pee would last mere seconds. Now, with the advent of Press Select to Insert Coin, I can just slot unlimited magic money into the machine! The future!

Playing it now, I realise that it’s actually quite a lot like Alex Kidd. No janken, of course, and you can shoot, but similar. It’s also not really all that good. It’s clearly designed to extract all your money with the difficulty and the jumping precision needed for many of the gaps. The final level is also really hard as it’s effectively a maze, and the already paltry time limit really doesn’t help. Plus there are trap floors to send you round in a circle. Again. And rocks you can’t see that fall on your head if you go up the wrong ladders.

Then, the final boss himself is an absolute swearword. He chucks flames at you, which you can dodge but you’ve got to be both very quick and pixel perfect to pull it off. Not fun at all and certainly a trillion pounds worth of coins needed.

Cybernoid (Evercade): COMPLETED!

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This week, the next two Evercade cartridges arrived. Cybernoid is on the new C64 cart, and I was a big fan of the original (albeit on the Spectrum) so it’s the first thing I started up. Thankfully, the Commodore version is very similar to the Spectrum one, although with more muted colours and a different ship design.

It’s still a pretty good game, although it’s very easy to die due to the random nature of some of the spawns. For example, baddies spawn at the edge of the screen – the same edge you need to exit by – and so frequently they’ll appear in the same spot you occupy, killing you. The random bullet frequency from some turrets can mean timing nipping between them is based on luck rather than judgment too.

Another spanner in the works is special attacks. You’re given a number of things like mines, bouncy bombs and so on, some of which are required to hit destructible blocks above or below you as your cannon only shoots horizontally. But you only have a limited number of uses of each, meaning you can end up in a room with no way to progress, no way to return, and no enemies to shoot (as killing them sometimes drops refills). Very frustrating, and means that you end up never using any special attacks except for in the situations where you can’t otherwise progress.

And it is very hard.

Other than all those things though, I very much enjoyed playing it again after all this time. It’s one of those games that just loops infinitely, so after about 4 loops through the game I’m claiming “done”.

Kid Chameleon (Switch): COMPLETED!

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It’s been a while, but with it recently popping up on the Switch Online service, I gave it another go. This time, I’d remembered how damn difficult it was, but even so, a few later levels (especially one which was an autoscroller) are properly brutal.

Yes, I used save states. You have to, and not even because it is difficult – it’s just so, so long and there aren’t any built-in save options or passwords or anything. All you can do is make use of a cheat where you skip from level 2 to the end boss. I did that, obviously, but then started again and played it properly.

It still stands up pretty well today. Collision detection is a bit hit and miss (oho!), and the music is mostly dire, but the platforming and the hat powers you get are both fun. All the baddies that shout DIE! at you a lot is also funny.

71: Uncomfortable With My Inner Child

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“Welcome to Episode 71”, said the creepy man at the gate in the torn and dirty mouse suit, between puffs on his dogeared cigarette. “Enjoy your stay”.

In this episode, deKay, Kendrick, Zo and John/Choobs discuss the death of Lenovo’s gaming telephone line (as in, a line of gaming telephones, not a telephone line you use for gaming), Someone Has Bought A PS5, and deKay tells everyone about his visit to Norfolk’s Premier Video Gaming Expo, OLL23. Plus, some games! That is after all why you came. Lots of games actually. Kendrick has been on a bit of a spree.

  • Diablo IV Early Beta
  • Uncharted: Legacy of Thieves
  • Duskers
  • Life is Strange: True Colo(u)rs
  • Control
  • Konami Arcade Advanced
  • Konami Classics Arcade Hits
  • Dinosaur King
  • Ener-G Dance Squad
  • Ener-G Gym Rockets
  • Ener-G Horse Riders
  • Imagine Ballet Star
  • Imagine Ice Champions
  • Like a Dragon Ishin
  • Ryu Ga Gotoku Ishin
  • Ryu Ga Gotoku Ishin (er, again)
  • Ryu Ga Gotoku Kenzan
  • Disneyland Adventures
  • The Procession to Calvary
  • Sackboy: A Big Adventure
  • Kimono Cats
  • Doctor Who: An Unlikely Heist

Phew, eh? Strap in for a 90 minute teardown of DS Horse Game! Also, some questions answered and the usual nonsense.

(Direct link here)

Intro music credits: Zeebra/Bushido, from Ryu Ga Gotoku Kenzan.

Don’t forget, if you want to contact us with questions or comments for or about the show, you can email podcast@ugvm.org.uk or publicly shame us @ugvmpodcast on the Twittors, and https://mas.to/@ugvmpodcast on the Mastodons.