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79: How Many Polygons Do You Need For A Cloaca?

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With Christmas a distant memory, the “gang” reconvene to talk about very important things from the world of Video Gaming and, well, other things too. Welcome, to Episode 79.

In this episode, deKay, Kendrick, Choobs and Toby complain about money-grabbing Sega, talk about yet more game development studios letting staff go, YAJTTWG (Yet Another Journey To The West Game – Black Myth Wukong), the mysterious “ake 6”, and many, many games. Including but not limited to these:

  • Mass Effect
  • Cocoon (no, not the film)
  • Diablo IV
  • Torchlight II
  • Skyrim
  • Baldur’s Gate 3
  • Divinity: Original Sin 2
  • FAR: Lone Sails
  • SteamWorld Build
  • PowerWash Simulator
  • Ace Combat 7
  • Deadly Tower of Monsters
  • Bomb Rush Cyberfunk
  • Yakuza (drink!) Kiwami
  • Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name (drink!)

And I hope you like big ol’ waffles because we have a great selection of them right here, right in this episode. Engorge yourselves.

(Direct link here)

Intro music credits: “Tail Man” from Ace Combat 7, by Hiroshi Okubo.

Don’t forget, if you want to contact us with questions or comments for or about the show, you can email podcast@ugvm.org.uk or publicly shame us https://mas.to/@ugvmpodcast on the Mastodons.

Detective Pikachu Returns (Switch): COMPLETED!

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It’s been a long time coming, what with the original game coming in at the end of the Nintendo 3DS’ viable life, and it now being the twilight hours of the Nintendo Switch, but finally it was released and, having given it to my daughter to play first, the time eventually came for me to finish the story that cliffhangered on the previous game.

Now, I may be misremembering the first game, but I’m pretty sure this one is somewhat simplified in comparison. It’s shorter, easier, and your hand is held constantly through the entire story. You don’t really have much say in how the investigations progress, and the puzzles are not only straightforward but you’re constantly told how to actually complete them. It all feels like the interaction is somewhat superficial, and really it’s not much more than a visual novel. It’s certainly less than a “point and click” adventure.

It’s also pretty bland graphically. There aren’t many locations, and they’re pretty plain in appearance. Voice acting is variable, with most characters being text-only but the odd one that isn’t comes across as amateur. Aside from the good detective himself, of course.

Thankfully, the story is more than enough to draw you in and keep you connected. The first game ended without a resolution to the big questions – where is Tim’s dad, and why can Pikachu talk? In the intervening years, there’s been a film which loosely followed the plot of the game but did end on an answer – with Tim’s dad actually being Pikachu, of a sort, thanks to Mewtwo’s actions. The game actually addresses this outcome directly, as it is mentioned that “they made a film about Tim and Pikachu’s adventures”, but “they made up the ending”, or words to that effect. Is the ending the same here? Well, that’s a spoiler.

The events that lead to the end mainly involve a load of Pokémon going rogue, which seems a bit like the “R incident” from the 3DS original but is actually more targeted and related to where Tim’s dad is. You’ve the theft of a gem to solve, the rescue of an archaeologist from some ruins, and even deal with Pikachu getting “arrested” for a crime he didn’t commit. Towards the end, Pikachu starts remembering things that aren’t things he could possibly remember. Unless… well, spoiler again.

In summary, it’s a low tech game which exists to wrap up the cliffhanger from the first game, but really shouldn’t have taken nearly six years to make nor is it worth playing on its own. There’s nothing terrible here, it’s just a bit disappointing that after all this time, all we’re getting is what feels like a cheap C-team product.

Detective Pikachu Returns (Switch): COMPLETED!

Posted on Written by

It’s been a long time coming, what with the original game coming in at the end of the Nintendo 3DS’ viable life, and it now being the twilight hours of the Nintendo Switch, but finally it was released and, having given it to my daughter to play first, the time eventually came for me to finish the story that cliffhangered on the previous game.

Now, I may be misremembering the first game, but I’m pretty sure this one is somewhat simplified in comparison. It’s shorter, easier, and your hand is held constantly through the entire story. You don’t really have much say in how the investigations progress, and the puzzles are not only straightforward but you’re constantly told how to actually complete them. It all feels like the interaction is somewhat superficial, and really it’s not much more than a visual novel. It’s certainly less than a “point and click” adventure.

It’s also pretty bland graphically. There aren’t many locations, and they’re pretty plain in appearance. Voice acting is variable, with most characters being text-only but the odd one that isn’t comes across as amateur. Aside from the good detective himself, of course.

Thankfully, the story is more than enough to draw you in and keep you connected. The first game ended without a resolution to the big questions – where is Tim’s dad, and why can Pikachu talk? In the intervening years, there’s been a film which loosely followed the plot of the game but did end on an answer – with Tim’s dad actually being Pikachu, of a sort, thanks to Mewtwo’s actions. The game actually addresses this outcome directly, as it is mentioned that “they made a film about Tim and Pikachu’s adventures”, but “they made up the ending”, or words to that effect. Is the ending the same here? Well, that’s a spoiler.

The events that lead to the end mainly involve a load of Pokémon going rogue, which seems a bit like the “R incident” from the 3DS original but is actually more targeted and related to where Tim’s dad is. You’ve the theft of a gem to solve, the rescue of an archaeologist from some ruins, and even deal with Pikachu getting “arrested” for a crime he didn’t commit. Towards the end, Pikachu starts remembering things that aren’t things he could possibly remember. Unless… well, spoiler again.

In summary, it’s a low tech game which exists to wrap up the cliffhanger from the first game, but really shouldn’t have taken nearly six years to make nor is it worth playing on its own. There’s nothing terrible here, it’s just a bit disappointing that after all this time, all we’re getting is what feels like a cheap C-team product.

Return to Monkey Island (Switch): COMPLETED!

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It’s another one of those “why did it take me so long to get round to it” games. Well, to answer that, just take a look around the rest of my site. But here I am, having eventually played and completed it.

There was much kerfuffle about the change in graphic style between this and the original (and the remasters of those, and the Telltale Games ones) as if the pixels of the first two games were sacred and should never be altered. Even though they already had, several times. To this I say: go away. They’re fine. Better than fine. They look great. Stop whining.

It’s been a long time since I played any of the Monkey Island games in any form for any length of time, but coming to this even after such a gap was a real kick in the memberberries as so many of the characters, sounds, locations and banter are instantly recognisable. It helps that it is a direct continuation of the second Monkey Island game (explaining the unusual ending of that title) and has the original voice actors, in the most part, from the original “talkie” versions. With much of the game set on the familiar Melee Island, complete with SCUMM Bar and the Ask Me About Loom guy, it’s really like old times. Only new.

The plot involves going back to Monkey Island, as the game’s name suggests, to, you know, actually get the Secret Of Monkey Island this time. As you’d expect, that involves point-and-click adventure puzzles. Some of these are similar but different to puzzles in the older games (such as the potion required to actually get to Monkey Island), and none seem to be as obtuse as those that came before, although the pulley-in-a-rubber-chicken one is referenced. In this way, it feels easier, but it also means that everything makes more logical sense and really the only criticisms the original games garnered were about the illogical solutions, so that’s fine.

It’s as funny as you’d expect, as good as you’d hoped, and just modernised enough as you can tolerate. More like this, please.

FAR: Lone Sails (Switch): COMPLETED!

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In a post-apocalypse world, the seas have dried up and you, the only living creature in the entire game, have a land-boat thing with big wheels which you have to take from the left side of the world to the right side of the world. You have an engine you need to keep fuelled, you get a sail you can raise when there’s wind, things break and catch fire and you have to fix them, and often there are places you can’t get past (presumably because the game is 2D and there’s no steering wheel) so you have to hop out your land-boat and explore some abandoned structure to open a door or power a lift or something to progress.

The problem is, everything is too small. I don’t mean just on the Switch handheld, as I played this on a 50 inch TV; Everything you need to actually see (like the stuff you pick up or things you interact with) is minute and you can’t make out what most of it as and so you have no idea what anything is for. Turns out, almost everything you pick up is just fuel or ornamental or both, so my hoarding of All The Things was pointless and it didn’t matter that I couldn’t see anything anyway. Just burn it all. Apart from the red things (that are more red than the other red things) as they make your engine go on fire.

Eventually you get to the far right of the world, and the game ends and that’s it. No win, no prize, no happy ending, you just get there and your ship has fallen to bits and you light a lamp and that’s the end. A real disappointment, and it doesn’t feel like the game was supposed to be teaching you a lesson that there would be one or anything like that, and after a bit of research I’m pretty confident I haven’t stumbled into a “bad” ending – that’s just how it ends.

I did enjoy it, mainly because it looks lovely and the world is great, but I don’t really understand either 1) what was the point of it all, and 2) why it was so lauded in the press. Also, what does FAR stand for?